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My husband fell asleep in his overly comfy reclining desk chair, and I wanted to "borrow" something of his. I finally visually located it, and it would require leaning over his sleeping form and reaching through the far arm of his chair to get at. I’m wafer thin, lithe, and can move very quietly. Surely, I can "borrow" the object of my desire no problem!

I lean well over him, brace myself with one arm on his desk, and begin lowering myself into position while reaching through the arm of the chair. I get within a two inches of the thing and that’s when I feel giggles beginning to bubble up from deep within. I attempt to repress them, but I end up snorting like a pig. Loudly. A few inches from my husband's chest. At this point, the giggles could no longer be contained. I quickly righted myself and pranced from the room laughing the whole way. The husband did not wake up (though he did change position slightly).

I am the worst thief.