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Scene from a marriage (cellphone edition):

Him: Did you order anything?
Her: I don’t think so. Like what?
Him: A Mac.
Her: No! Why would I buy a Mac right now? There’s an unexpected Apple event coming up!
Him: I thought maybe it happened, you went out of your mind, and bought one.
Her: There is no universe where I spend more than a hundred dollars on something, even something I really want, without vocally and at length agonizing about it to you for months, as you beg me to shut up and buy the thing. Have you learned nothing about me the last 32 years?
Him: Okay, have a nice day!