It had been my intention to be fully back to regularly posting on my blog, sending out a cute weekly newsletter, and throwing myself fully back into the creative process by January. This felt like a totally achievable goal. Things had been doing well enough, and while I do seem to be getting things done at a slower rate than in the past, I had been getting things done. But now, I’m back down in the grief hole, and everything feels impossible.
The big important for me project I had planned to get done today was clearing space on my work table so making art would be possible, even if unlikely to happen, and I did manage to get that done. Nothings fully organized yet, but there’s space to work, so maybe it happens, maybe it doesn’t. Maybe the table gets filled with the debris of life again. Onky time will tell.
I’ve had another friend pass away. He went silent on Twitter in early November, and I suspected the worst. But with an ocean between us and no overlap between our social circles, confirming my fears was difficult. Yesterday was his birthday, so I stopped in at Facebook, and now I know.
This is Paul. He was a dear friend and an amazing human being. I’m going to do my best to live in this moment right here and remember how much fun we had together and all the silliness we got up to … and there was a lot of silliness. I’m going to miss him very much. Very, very much.
I’ll likely be very quiet again for a while. I’d already gone quite quiet the last week or so, because the holidays were really hitting hard. Grief has burst forth into my life as a big thing again, and now another person to add to the list. It’s all just too much.
Somehow, everything came together at the same time. I have successfully pulled off another Turkey Day feast. Also, I may have made entirely too much food, and we will be eating it for days.
Good thing it’s tasty, yes? And it is tasty!
Last night’s dinner turned out tasty. Lemon dill salmon patties, three cheese ravioli with a tomato/pesto sauce topped with parmesan, and bacon wrapped asparagus. Nom nom!
It’s really hard to read Metafilter with your chubby head in the way!