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  • RT @OhNoSheTwitnt: Bill Clinton almost lost his job as POTUS for lying about an affair.

    Trump has lied about several affairs and jeopardi… 12:28:47

  • RT @KUT: ACC Round Rock's campus is under a shelter-in-place order. More info: https://t.co/MeJpNiO1RC 13:00:40
  • RT @JYSexton: People shouldn’t need reminded of this but the Attorney General of the United States of America shouldn’t serve as the person… 13:06:39
  • If I had the spare cash, I would totally buy this. If you have the spare cash, you should! It’s sooooo cute. ❤️ https://t.co/y93ltp7ZIP 13:10:02
  • Aside from the pylon hitting, what I see is someone pulling out of a parking lot and turning left in front of traff… https://t.co/hbICC9xl4P 17:31:51
  • Also, the pylon he plowed over at the entrance to Nobu's parking lot. It says right turn only. Did he turn right? N… https://t.co/MJWeWXBqG1 in reply to JustOrb 17:36:21
  • I shall now proceed to the kitchen and make my first ever attempt at making eggnog. 😬 17:44:01
  • Hey guys! Guys!!! I have successfully made eggnog! Actual eggnog! I can have eggnog whenever the hell I want eggnog… https://t.co/vtzawqKKll 18:22:23
  • I suppose I should clean up the mess I made in the kitchen and consider what to make for dinner. You know, other th… https://t.co/CnendsXZhJ 18:27:58
  • One of my measuring spoons has had an unfortunate encounter with the garbage disposal. I finally have an excuse to… https://t.co/TmC7MyUwWZ 18:47:17
  • The kitchen has been restored to a clean state. Tonight, we shall be having salmon patties, steamed broccoli, and a… https://t.co/MuMXCCp3q1 18:53:09
  • Was feeling a bit peckish, therefore, I am having a small glass of eggnog. I am soooooo surprised my first attempt… https://t.co/V1izGUvRyE 19:38:50
  • We're in a bit of a show hole for a few days, and I’m finding it hard to find something to watch while we eat dinne… https://t.co/2RQ2JHIOGP 19:59:09

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  • My mother has called 11 times since 4 pm. For no reason, except to complain that I’m not there to take her to the X… https://t.co/PFEgCvWMBE 18:35:14
  • The calls started before I’d even gotten home from her house. Right when I was navigating the bit of Friday afterno… https://t.co/yw7EVrFLxW in reply to JustOrb 18:35:15
  • Don’t know what we're having for dinner, because no shopping got done this week, and there is just about no food. T… https://t.co/aTEJTJRbx5 18:43:27
  • What the actual fuck is this moron on about? I’ve listened to it twice, and it seems like he’s upset about water sa… https://t.co/wRnYa3dIk2 18:51:33
  • I’d like to point out, he also talked a lot of smack and called the man a "child rapist" in an email to a buzzfeed… https://t.co/LEj3JVjkum 19:23:59
  • I believe it is time for adult beverages. Bring on the vodka! 🤪 19:50:30
  • While I was away from the internet, apparently sunning your butthole became a thing. What will they think of next? 20:22:57

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  • I do not want to go to mom's today. Have to, so I will, but ugh, I don’t know how I’m going to get through today an… https://t.co/Q5QKGv76Sg 08:53:32
  • Rush hour had cleared enough for me to head out, so I carry my crap to the car. Get back into the house two minutes… https://t.co/yjE9AhOPDR 09:00:28
  • The wreck is finally off the road. Now to give it a little time for traffic to normalize. Certainly getting a late start today. 09:24:42
  • Have made an executive decision. Waiting to go to mom's tomorrow. While talking with mom to tell her I would be run… https://t.co/STIBKyDloU 09:40:23
  • Have continued to monitor the traffic situation for my own amusement. Traffic here generally sucks, but today it's… https://t.co/O7spFKjuiQ 10:11:43

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