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Posted on October 14, 2019 by Orb at 8:00 am

Dear parents posting videos of your children losing their minds when the Fornite season ended: it’s not making you… https://t.co/IHHtAbSIEG 20:14:53
Here’s a thread I think you should read… https://t.co/gQlkn5Zacv 20:17:58
RT @iamlurm: When you live on the boundary between men and women, you learn about weird differences in what those groups experience.
Take… 20:42:53
Started watching The Expanse tonight. Seems good so far. I’m at least interested enough to watch another episode. A… https://t.co/Lg4W2TtoVz 21:50:44

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Posted on October 13, 2019 by Orb at 8:00 am

I have turned on the bed warmer for the first time this season. Won’t need it all night, I don’t think, but it’ll b… https://t.co/aVn5shoDON 00:19:08
I believe I must present this idea to my husband. It’s brilliant! And hilarious! https://t.co/odR4XRz5zm 11:07:45
I find his use of the phrases "attack our soil" and "enter our soil" interesting. Normal people say "country" not "… https://t.co/yHONKkDFJL 11:17:59
All I can really say about this is that fascism continues to expand its foothold in America. https://t.co/gMz3dSNgtL 11:58:12
Describing the US civil war as “when politics got in the way of faith in the government” is … a freaking weird wa… https://t.co/2m3yQfiUoK 12:26:05
I am craving cake. With loads of buttercream icing. Alas, I suppose I’ll have to settle for toast and jelly. It jus… https://t.co/HX61w67dye 16:10:06
I can’t wait to hear the wild story the cops tell for why this happened. You know there’s gonna be a story.
And si… https://t.co/ggQvG1WahD 17:24:08

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Posted on October 12, 2019 by Orb at 8:00 am

Decided I should wash my hair tonight, before the cold front arrives, while it’s not chilly. No way I survive until… https://t.co/y3rlOdOSn0 00:13:19
I’m uncertain of the number of cocktails I've had tonight. Just going by intoxication level, maybe three? But I too… https://t.co/u8Vze2ayky 00:55:40
Fraud Guarantee? Seriously?! The writers for 2019 are not even trying AT ALL anymore. 01:06:59
The husband, who was poo-pooing my complaints about a 40°+ overnight drop in temperature, left for work wearing lay… https://t.co/HY2vx58vA8 08:21:10
Blizzard does another stupid thing. Completely unsurprising, really. https://t.co/6h0bG7NZh3 11:11:11
It’s getting colder. Below 50° now. It’s possible I may have to turn on something that produces heat. Or crawl into… https://t.co/a4rSxqDFGd 11:49:31
Bwha ha ha ha ha! Husband called when he went to lunch and complained about how cold it is outside. Said he wishes… https://t.co/DGRyrbC78Y in reply to JustOrb 11:51:07
Last year, we could light the furnace by hand, and with the thermostat set to 90°, it’d run a good long while befor… https://t.co/Vrh2IPi6AU 16:06:30
Looking forward to making pizza tonight, mostly because the oven will be on at 500°F for an extended period of time… https://t.co/rGtfVSDf34 17:45:50
Truest of true facts! https://t.co/Qno5kEWVTd 18:16:27
Took apart the furnace. Vacuumed everything. Removed and checked the usual suspect parts. Checked the filters (and… https://t.co/vWpdqo4rUx 18:24:50
Damn UPS dude, could you possibly have knocked a little louder! I don’t think the neighbors three doors down heard… https://t.co/64enHICeCl 18:26:53
I’ll give you one guess where the warmest spot in the living room is… https://t.co/Bwi17AsKhw 18:45:57
💕❤️💕 https://t.co/b0I8Fl1tH8 19:22:09
I somehow managed to slice open my finger with a pair of scissors. Well, at least I have an excuse to wear a Hello… https://t.co/XafTCsLu0W 19:46:30
And now I have sliced open a thumb while cutting up pizza toppings, and I don’t even know how. By the time the husb… https://t.co/Am5YL9Y61Y in reply to JustOrb 20:17:44
"I want to be clear: our relationships in China had no influence on our decision."
Oh sure, I totally believe that… https://t.co/lvIR2ORV3r 22:17:28
RT @KenTremendous: Congrats on turning the entire U.S. military into a mercenary fighting force, to be hired by the richest nations for the… 22:18:28
S1:Ep8 of Raising Dion caused the husband and I to pause the show and have a big old fight about 7 minutes from the… https://t.co/7wLQoR7LXn 22:23:29
Oh thank heavens, the husband fell asleep after logging into the game, so now I can watch cat videos and drink vodk… https://t.co/vJleJFJP5K 23:36:12

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Posted on October 11, 2019 by Orb at 8:00 am

RT @cvsherman: Austin Skyline. Facing East. In Black and White. Looks like I'll be back in town later this month.
#AustinTX #ATX #Texas htt… 00:36:42
Husband called to wake me up, as he oh so irritatingly does every damn day, but HA HA HA … I was already up and busy. Take that, butthead! 09:43:57
Having completed all of today's planned tasks, I will now sink into my recliner, read a book, and selfishly eat the last of the grapes. 13:48:17
Ok, haven’t gotten to reading my book yet, because apparently some interesting things have been happening in the ne… https://t.co/xoiFm4j2eI 13:56:50
RT @traecrowder: Liberal Redneck – Yellin' Bout Ellen
This un here gone piss some people off.
What do y'all think?
@TheEllenShow

https:… 15:12:01
Lindsey Graham, master of being a two-faced snake. I’m surprised he’d say one thing to one person and the opposite… https://t.co/SSm08cWFiP 18:16:01
Yeah, we'll be pretending we have a functioning furnace, because well … we don’t actually have a functioning furn… https://t.co/sFytHaGwIz 18:19:06
RT @MerriamWebster: 'Corruptionist': one who practices or defends corruption especially in politics https://t.co/VOWleZj57v 18:19:30
I guess if I’m making lasagna for dinner, I should probably get started on that pretty soon. Kinda wishing I hadn’t… https://t.co/CLQFod45jd 18:22:04
I just dropped my Revere Ware skillet, and it’s now bent. I don’t think they make them anymore, and WHAT AM I GOING TO DO NOW!!‽ 18:46:17
Managed to get much of the bent side pushed back out, and now I’m just going to keep using my favorite skillet ever … dent and all. 😭 in reply to JustOrb 18:58:23
Though, with that said … who makes a good, nonstick skillet, 12” or so, with a lid, that’s got some weight to it?… https://t.co/OjAVyKAaNE in reply to JustOrb 19:00:28
Never any inbetween. I just want some normal fall weather! Please?! https://t.co/5NHh9HOe9L 20:38:44
Husbands, take note … this was the best answer ever. https://t.co/J8dD1AcPty 23:06:07

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Posted on October 10, 2019 by Orb at 8:00 am

While I appreciate that my neck and back don’t ever seem to pain me at the same time, it’d be really awesome if eve… https://t.co/DKqAnmlRM0 00:08:19
I just had to get up out of my chair, shuffle slowly into the other room, and show the husband exactly on the map,… https://t.co/c3MtVyDIif 00:34:49
RT @Slasher: just as the NBA's original Chinese Weibo statement was pretty harsh on Daryl Morey compared to the English statement, Blizzard… 09:53:35
Cat: [ drinks from cat designated water bucket on floor]
Same Cat (5 secs later): [ drinks from cat designated gia… https://t.co/0Tt8ayShaB 11:33:40
Hilarious write-up about the advent of cricket season in central Texas. 🤣 https://t.co/QKBSzVWmKe 11:41:07
Was as productive as possible this morning. Have eaten lunch. Will now prop myself in a comfy position on the bed a… https://t.co/CPXsjVyqiY 13:00:16
Lindsey Graham has reached a agreement to close the barn door after some idiot opened it. How about he come to an a… https://t.co/QvHVY5cDAM 17:31:49
RT @MikeDrucker: Blizzard 2018: We are releasing a fun mobile game to break into the Chinese market
Blizzard 2019: We are crushing dissent… 17:53:17
"Last month [Facebook] announced that politicians and their campaigns had nearly free rein over content they post t… https://t.co/Ae1hUVlMBf 23:08:00

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Posted on October 9, 2019 by Orb at 8:00 am

Just got an email from Amazon informing me I’d purchased some flour that has been recalled from them who knows when… https://t.co/lfcn1lfDh2 00:02:29
RT @ColeTheBlackCat: It's getting cold out there and it's #AnimalWelfareWeek the purrfect time to get crafty to help homeless cats stay war… 10:32:26
RT @HillaryClinton: Every American has the right to voice their support for democracy and human rights for Hong Kong. Full stop. 11:25:24
RT @RepLloydDoggett: If he had any information exonerating Trump, the ambassador would be delivering Trump talking points now with bells on… 12:19:42
RT @vicenews: Trump’s campaign owes city governments at least $841,219 in unpaid bills for public-safety related expenses, and Minneapolis… 13:21:52
Working on a little something… https://t.co/9Lgt3ySJsD 13:26:43
So the Supreme Court is all about mob rule now? A bunch of people won’t be happy they can’t fire LGBTQ people for b… https://t.co/zMQfLUXPFX 13:55:59
Gonna go ahead and call this one done! https://t.co/o3kakahJsz in reply to JustOrb 15:51:09
So a competitive gamer supports … (checks notes) … freedom and democracy, and Blizzard Entertainment has decide… https://t.co/lfQ00UiwLu 16:17:03
My brain hurts, I think I’m coming down with something, I’d like to take a shower before dinner, and I’m being forc… https://t.co/9l8It8ewI0 17:30:47
So in light of the current supposed "facts" that the President of the United States cannot be charged with crimes a… https://t.co/1k7fOso5jJ 18:18:12
The bot has captured the essence of Austin! A++++ would watch this movie. https://t.co/EJCro0rVEP 18:46:01
Opened the jar of pickled jalapeños I bought, and popped one into my mouth, expecting them to be as mild as they us… https://t.co/yuIVX6Aj0P 19:13:40
I find the form factor of this phone very interesting. https://t.co/5mIl0bYKgp 19:53:55
RT @EricWan2: The internet when left to its own device, can do some pretty amazing things 😂
#Overwatch #Blizzardboycott #StandWithHongKong… 21:21:27
Thread by @IgnatiusPost … worth reading. https://t.co/xbmeE083X6 21:28:44
RT @Quinnae_Moon: I can only repeat what I said last night about the intense, immeasurable cowardice of corporations in this moment.
Bliz… 22:16:22

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Posted on October 8, 2019 by Orb at 8:00 am

Well, now I’m sitting here snotty-nosed sobbing about my dad. Truly, it has never gotten easier or better. Even whe… https://t.co/DpxAUesy1z in reply to JustOrb 00:00:07
I’d give anything to smell his cologne and sweat, see his ink-stained fingers, marvel at his smile, and see him "be… https://t.co/SYybPXQcUv in reply to JustOrb 00:00:08
For the record, I am still loving #RaisingDion, but there’s apparently not enough sex, violence, or cussing for the… https://t.co/EcTTImyFBK 00:12:55
I am literally so excited about having carefully selected a 12 color palette of single pigment watercolors from Dan… https://t.co/Y5CgjdK5zS in reply to JustOrb 00:17:48
RT @KVUE: Kombucha girl sighting! #ACLfest #aclfest2019 #aclfestival #acl #acl2019
🎥: ⁦@lyssagrayson⁩ https://t.co/jnwZOrJzAn 00:35:09
Life carries on in the people I meet
In everyone that's out on the street
In all the dogs and cats
In the flies and… https://t.co/ZViIG9dK94 01:35:48
Welp, my iPad needs charging. Guess I’ll shuffle off to bed now. Tomorrow is Monday, and it’s going to SUCK. 01:51:54
I set three alarms so I’d get up early today, and then I hit snooze on all three for two and a half hours. Was awak… https://t.co/G7z5PpEMSJ 09:41:31
When I saw this, I thought it couldn’t possibly be real, but yes … yes, it is real. This is really a thing the Pr… https://t.co/DthsEJCEbz 11:07:07
So the general manager of an NBA team supports … (checks notes) … freedom and democracy, and the NBA has decide… https://t.co/kwXRtnrnFo 12:31:36
RT @AlbertR_KVUE: 75 degrees with a gorgeous sky! #kvue https://t.co/yvnmZVEbkG 12:46:12
Ok, so it wasn’t only me who thought Trump's insane tweet earlier sounded like the Wizard of Oz. https://t.co/og0TVlozVR 13:07:19
Why has no one invented a better way to clean clothing, other than putting it into a jiggling tub with water? We li… https://t.co/29sbdWYEHH 13:32:22
It appears I fell asleep in my recliner for about an hour. I knew I shouldn’t have sat down and cuddled with the cats. 17:56:00
Have decided to make those labor intensive crispy roast potatoes again. As side dishes for the potatoes I really wa… https://t.co/dcDn6xhMh9 18:12:34
I would like to thank the washer and dryer for quietly and appropriately doing their job 100% today. May every laun… https://t.co/bj9ZGywxMF 18:30:21
Once upon a time, I thought Trump was under the thumb of Putin, that he had something on him. Now I fully believe T… https://t.co/FzgODLnJkk 19:02:52
RT @OhNoSheTwitnt: PSA for 2020: It's not voting for the lesser of 2 evils when one is a white supremacist threatening the civil rights and… 21:42:00
I’m feeling disgruntled. Yes, disgruntled is exactly the word for it. Could turn into cranky. We'll just have to wait and see. 22:20:13
RT @colbertlateshow: You don’t ever text ‘call me,’ if the phone call is ‘I just wanted to make sure that no one ever finds out how innocen… 22:54:42
RT @discookitten: On today’s episode of what the fuck Apollo: https://t.co/Xqc0KsqXza 23:29:50
I'm pretty much at seven days a week with this reaction. Today especially though. https://t.co/WYSbSwkxEe 23:30:44
I have hiccups. This is bad. I only ever get hiccups when I’m coming down with something. I cannot … CANNOT … b… https://t.co/axrdurUdjZ 23:33:21
RT @HCookAustin: This lying dangerous idiot has the launch codes in his pocket. https://t.co/0ssAGHayeM 23:50:26
Today's favorite thing is brick and mortar local stores charging series 4 prices for series 1 paints. Sorry, not pa… https://t.co/53JbNrInLX 23:55:49
Those half pans I half filled two days ago are taking forever to dry. My feeling of disgruntlement is in serious da… https://t.co/1jDO1fmdDx 23:58:27

Just Orb

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Tag Archives: tweets

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