I have to come out of my political ranting silence to publicly point and laugh at this:

“I have two grandchildren — Maggie is 11, Robert is 9. I am convinced that if we do not decisively win the struggle over the nature of America, by the time they’re my age they will be in a secular atheist country, potentially one dominated by radical Islamists and with no understanding of what it once meant to be an American.”
–Newt Gingrich

Methinks Mr. Gingrich does not know the definition of the word atheist. It’s really not possible for an atheist to be a radical Islamist or for a radical Islamist to be an atheist. Not … possible. Not without changing the meaning of the word atheist, anyway. Does he think atheists only disbelieve in his particular flavor of god? That’d be a pretty stupid thing for someone with any education whatsoever to think.

This guy is supposed to be one of the Republican Party’s powerhouse intellectuals, but I gotta say, if he doesn’t know that someone who holds a belief in ANY god isn’t an atheist then he’s less intellectual than most middle school students.

I actually can’t wait for the 2012 Presidential run to start. I am expecting comedy gold the likes of which even god himself has ever seen. It will also be interesting to see if America is stupid enough to elect one of these morons.

Pretty Hair Perry, our newly re-elected governor, was on the Today Show the other morning selling his book. He had a slip of the tongue. One he didn’t catch while the talking points continued to flow out of his mouth.

“George W. Bush did an incredible job in the presidency, defending us from freedom…”
–Gov. Rick Perry (R-TX) YouTube clip

I first saw this on Olbermann last night, but since I don’t trust Olbermann to be any more less full of bullshit than I do any other TV talking head, I wanted to wait until I could watch the whole interview at the Today Show web site and verify for myself that Perry had said it and hadn’t corrected himself a millisecond later before I posted about it. In short, I do like some context with my soundbites. Well, Perry did indeed say exactly what the quote says he did, and the fact he’d said something coming extremely close to the truth never even crossed his apparently pea-sized brain. He just moved on to the next talking point. He’s got his script down, except for the little Freudian slip.

Also, Perry can just keep bleating on and on about how he’s not running for President, and I will continue to not believe him. Perhaps not President, but maybe Vice-President? I would almost be willing to bet large quantities of money we see his name in the hat for some sort of White House run. Bush used to insist he was never going to run for President too, and well … he did, didn’t he? Trust me, Perry would LOVE to be President, and he would thoroughly and totally suck at it (just as he sucks at being governor).

AB: Are you recording this?

JO: If you want, I can record it, I usually don’t record it unless I’m trying out a new position or something really kinky though. I have the camera set up though, so we can do whatever you want, whatever you feel comfortable with.

AB: Is this a gag?

JO: Abbie, I’m not really into S&M, so I don’t have any toys like that…

AB: No, is this a joke, are you kidding?

JO: Oh, I’m sorry, I thought you were talking about S&M, what do you mean is this a gag?

AB: You can’t be serious, I’m married.

JO: Abbie, there’s never going to be a right time for you and I. There’s only right now. We have to make the most of the time we’re given, and we’re being given right now.

AB: Are you serious?

JO: I’ve never met a woman like you, one who had the drive, ambition, and the same creative power, the same creative juice. We’re the same person Abbie, we’re meant to be together. I’m serious because my heart is serious.

What could that possibly be? If you guessed it’s a script for the latest James O’Keefe (of Acorn Pimp infamy) “caper” … you guessed correctly!

His plan to bring down CNN involved a boat, fuzzy handcuffs, dildos, romantic 80′s music, hidden cameras, and CNN’s Abbie Boudreau, who James apparently believes would fall under the spell of his incredible animal magnetism and domineering sexy manliness rather than behave like any normal adult woman would when confronted with a person like James and a scenario such as a very small sailboat (seriously – tiny) full of sex toys, lube, and condoms … say, kicking him in the balls and walking away immediately (or at the very least, rolling her eyes and walking away immediately).

Fox News is being silent on the matter, as I would fully expect, as are most right-wing news outlets and blogs. I’m sure once they have a well-spun story that somehow turns it all around and makes dear James look like a hero of conservative journalism, we’ll be hearing from all of them. I await the entertainment that will provide.

Seeing as he’s on probation after that whole Senator’s office “caper” … I would think proof that he’d recorded a phone call in Maryland without informing the second party he was recording (illegal there) might put his precious freedom in jeopardy. He can’t plead ignorance of that fact either, seeing as the last post on Twitter (dated yesterday) points to a news story about the legality/illegality of recording people in Maryland.

At the very least, it would be nice if his extensive 15 minutes of fame were over. He no longer seems like a stupid, immature, young right-winger and a whole lot more like a dangerous sociopath. Not that there’s much difference between those two things these days, as far as I can tell. It would be doubly nice if he’d take Andrew Brietbart with him.

One of my relatives (as well as Glenn Beck and every right-winger in America, apparently) hears this:

“That’s why I want to challenge every restaurant to offer healthy menu options and then provide them up front so that parents don’t have to hunt around and read the small print to find an appropriately sized portion that doesn’t contain levels – high levels of fat, salt and sugar.”

“It could mean serving 1 percent or skim milk. Or you could make healthy sides like apple slices or carrots the default choice in a menu and make fries something customers have to request – which would hurt me deeply – I’m a fry lover.”
–Michelle Obama

And they interpret it as this:

“The government wants to ban selling fries with hamburgers?!?!?!”
–name redacted to protect the ignorant

Seriously, they do not live in reality or comprehend English, do they?