Myu and Ronin, who snubbed me heartlessly when I got home yesterday, decided at some ridiculously late hour of the night they did, in fact, love me to pieces. Therefore, I had a small black cat patting me on the face, a large grey cat squashing the air out of me, and both of them sucking on the sheets for several hours non-stop last night. Some of you may recall how thrilled I was an end to the sheet sucking had been brought about by getting new sheets that looked nothing like the sheets they knew as kittens. It would seem my disappearance from the household for a mere 36 hours pushed a few buttons with the cats. Well, it is the first time I have been gone for more than a few hours since they moved in. Poor dears.

For all the adoration the little monsters have been showing me since whatever pre-dawn hour it was they decided to forgive me for being away, they sure did act like they didn’t even know who I was when I got home. When I walked in the door, they were both sitting right there with gleeful looks of anticipation on their faces, but as soon as I moved to pet them, they scattered and wanted nothing to do with me. Cats are such emotional little things.

It’s nice to be getting some kitty love, but I could do without the sheet sucking. I had forgotten just how annoying it is to listen to two cats smacking and slobbering … and having damp sheet hems. Yuckity yuck yuck!

The cats would like to thank Joey for sending them an all new box and two — count them — two large sheets of brown paper! New toys! Yippee!

That is just a small sampling of life with my cats yesterday. They did nothing but eat, sleep, and roll around on the floor chewing on each other. In a twist on the usual course of days like that, Myu was the aggressor. She had a bug up her butt about something and would not leave Ronin alone. Seeing as the other 99% of the time he’s the one being the ass, I guess it was about time for her to finally get upset enough to torment him in return. It’s good to see her being a little more aggressive, because, well … she’s such a pussy.

What was especially funny was how Ronin laid by me on the couch looking all dejected all evening long. I guess he’s just not used to anyone bugging him and pouncing on him non-stop. Well, turn about is fair play, right? Also, it was weird for me to be barking “Myu!” every few minutes rather than “Ronin!” I swear most days I must say his name several hundred times, because he just can’t help himself. He has to do things he knows he shouldn’t … like beat up on his sister, or steal Q-tips from the bathroom, or make off with one of my stuffed toys, or dump out the water bowl, and on and on.

They seem to be getting along just fine today, but the day is young. I think I’ll get out the feather toys and catnip and wear them out right now, so they’ll sleep most of the day. Not that this tactic always works, but I cannot put up with another day of cat wrestling all over the house.

As I walked back into the house after seeing Lin out to the truck, I hear a calamity occurring in the kitchen. The cats, in the middle of one of their speed-of-light mad dashes around the racetrack better known as our house knocked over not only the tall stool and the short stool but two of the dining room chairs. I wish I had seen how they accomplished that. I am sure it would have been hilarious.

Since they seem to be winding down for a nap now, I think I will join them. My stomach is not feeling right at all this morning. Blech.

The dry goods were sitting on the kitchen worktable this afternoon when FedEx rang my doorbell, and, of course, I didn’t put the box down and finish putting away the groceries first. I just wanted to verify there were two unopened boxed copies of the software and that the receipt was right … and make a quick blog post to express my glee. That couldn’t have taken me more than two minutes. During that time, I was sitting at my desk, a few feet from the open doorway to the kitchen. I heard no commotion in the kitchen, and I wouldn’t have expected to hear a commotion from the kitchen, because the cats know they are not allowed on that table. All other surfaces can be theirs, but not that table (and the stove and kitchen counters). They know this. They learned this when they were tiny little kitties.

Imagine my surprise when I walked into the kitchen, after an absence of mere moments, to find Myu smack dab in the middle of the dry goods on the kitchen worktable and Ronin half on the table and half in the window sill. Can you say BUSTED! They totally looked busted too … all big eyed and frozen in their tracks with just a hint of adorable lingering behind those eyes. See, they do know they are not supposed to be on that table, but for some reason they had a slip in sensibility.

Ronin vanished immediately. I didn’t see or hear him take off, but he must have taken off somewhere. One second he was there, staring at me like a deer in headlights. The next moment, he was nowhere to be seen. He’s very good at disappearing.

Myu, on the other hand, decided to play the Cute Card and started rolling around on the table, in the middle of the groceries, mewing like a baby. Well, that was the wrong choice. It only bought her an extra second before the hand-waving and “bad kitty” noises started. SHe eventually realized that perhaps exiting the area would be a good idea.

I have no idea what I bought that could have attracted them enough to completely through caution to the wind and get on that table. There was nothing new or unusual … just the same old basic canned goods and what have you that sometimes sit on the worktable for half a day without any cats caring one way or the other about it. In fact, I set the grocery bags on the floor while unpacking them, and the cats couldn’t care less about any of it (even the meat products). So I am a little surprised Myu felt the need to get up there and rummage around. I am not at all surprised that Ronin was in the process of following her, because that’s what he does. She’s most definitely the brains in the outfit. She masterminds the unauthorized cat activities, and Ronin just follows along like the big dumb brute he is (he’s cute, but really, really dumb).

Naturally, both of them have been following me around all afternoon being just as cute as they can possibly be. At the moment, Myu is in my lap shedding fine black hairs all over my keyboard (and everything else), and Ronin is under my chair licking my big toe. I suppose I’ll accept their apologies, but I swear if they get on that table again, we will go through the whole training process again, and they are not going to like it.

Aw. I didn’t even have to go pester the cats. Myu, sensing my overwhelming need for kitty attention, jumped up in my lap just as I was about to go look for her and has been busily rubbing her black-fur-shedding head all over my keyboard and my shirt. Good thing I am wearing a black shirt today.

She’s been getting more and more affectionate lately. At least a few times a week now, she insists … INSISTS … on having some lap time. This is making me very, very happy.

I love my cats. No cute photos. No long post telling you just how adorable and wonderful they can be. Just me saying … I love my cats. When things go wrong, there they are, and I’d never make it without them.

Oh, and the same applies to my husband, but he doesn’t lay at my feet mewing adorably and being precious. Well, not often anyway.

Today was so mundane. There isn’t anything to talk about. Well, aside from the cats who were walking around the house pretending to be on death’s door when I got home from the store. They weren’t especially thrilled with my choice of food for them, but they ate it. Hunger is indeed a good sauce. Now they are resting peacefully on the bed, content at last with full little bellies.

The only actual event of any note today was that my blood sugar level dropped dramatically while I was shopping, caused by my own stupidity for not eating lunch before I went. I didn’t expect my errands to take as long as they did. That’s no excuse for not eating something before leaving the house. I know better. I need to figure out what small food thing I can carry with me or keep in the truck at all times to counteract the dropping level as quickly as possible. By the time I got home, I was barely able to carrying in the groceries. It usually doesn’t get that bad that fast, but I haven’t been sleeping well either, so being tired too made it feel so much worse. Really what I need to do is eat before leaving the house. Like I said, I know better. Everything always takes longer than expected, and skipping meals is just asking for trouble.

Not much planned for tonight. I’m going to microwave some White Castles and make some fries for dinner. Then we’ll watch Stargate Atlantis. After that, I think I might just go straight to bed. We have to get up early in the morning to go to the market and feed store, and provided the weather is as nice as it was today, I’d like to get out of the house and go do something fun. Or … maybe I’ll just lay around the house like a lazy slug and sleep the day away. That actually sounds nice.

Yup, just another bland day. Ho hum.

This morning the cats proceeded to follow me around and sit and stare at me making those chirping noises again. This time I knew exactly what their problem was. You see, we ran out of their precious dry cat food, and last night, I gave them canned food mixed with the last shreds of the dry stuff. It was more than enough food and should have staved off starvation and hunger pains alike until I got to the store to buy some cheap dry kibble, to hold them over until we get to the feed store this weekend. But … once the wet food is gone, gobbled up in one sitting, there are empty bowls sitting there, and they do not like empty bowls. No, no, no. An empty bowl indicates to them that starvation will set in at any moment, no matter how full their tummies are.

So they were a little antsy about it last night when I went to bed, and this morning, they were completely out of their tiny walnut-sized brains about it. I decided to eat the leftover hominy from last night for breakfast, and as I sat at my computer trying to read the news and eat the damn corn, I was beset upon by cats who were acting as though they hadn’t eaten in days. I’m talking some really, really obnoxious in-my-bowl bad cat behavior.

I hadn’t exactly planned to rush right out to the store this morning. I want to take a shower, go through the kitchen and make a nice long shopping list, and watch some of my craft shows first. They were having none of that nonsense. Couldn’t I tell they were about to die?!?! So I pulled out a can of that over-priced venison prescription food that Fuzza used to eat and checked the expiration date. Still good. Well, good, the silly cats would just have to have canned food again, which they hate. If it isn’t dry and crunchy, it isn’t food, as far as they are concerned, no matter how much meat it has in it and how good it looks and smells.

They went bonkers when I opened the can, and they nearly killed themselves trying to get up on the work table while I was dishing it out onto plates. Even super-quiet Ronin was whining loudly. I carried the plates to the feeding area, scooted insane cats out of the way, and set the plates down in front of them.

They each took a sniff and looked up at me as though I had lost my mind. “You expect us to eat that?!” They toddled off a ways and started rolling around on the floor, presumably having seizures or perhaps attempting to simulate death throes. I picked each one up and set them down in front of a plate. Ronin, obviously the smarter of the two, decided to dig in and chow down. Myu, fell to the floor in the most pathetic display of spoiled and whiny cat behavior I have ever seen, and then she wandered off to parts unknown to pout when being as cute as possible did not produce a bowl of dry kibble.

I believe we have now verified that Myu does not like venison. Fuzza wasn’t especially fond of it either, which is why I still have half a case of it. Ronin, on the other hand, will apparently eat other foods, provided he believes he is about to die. But then, he always has been the chow hound in the house. They really are too picky about their food though. I am not even sure they will eat whatever cheap kibble I buy today either. If it isn’t Wellness Core, it isn’t food. I need to break them of this, because there may be times, like today, when there isn’t any Wellness Core to be had, and what happens if the feed store is out when we go tomorrow? What happens if there comes a time when we can’t afford their over-priced yet oh-so-healthy dry kibble? Yeah. They need to learn not to be so picky!

I remain convinced that cats who are picky about what to eat are spoiled beasts who have never actually known hunger. These cats have been fat, dumb, and happily fed since they popped out of the womb … first on mother’s milk from an equally fat, dumb, and happily fed cat and then nothing but pricey dry kibble since they were weaned. Now, they won’t eat anything else.

Meanwhile, Ronin has finished off his entire plate of food and is now trying to bury Myu’s plate, I suppose for later consumption. Well, she isn’t going to eat it, so he might as well have at it as he pleases. Myu is flopping around by my feet like a fish out of water and seriously using every cute gene she has. Oh I feel sorry for her, but nothing, not even the cutest cat on the planet, could compel me to go to the grocery before noon on a Friday. It’s just too insane. She’s either going to have to eat what’s there or suffer for a few more hours. Poor picky eater!

Rather than just use loose catnip and a few treats to convince the cats that whatever evil scheme they were planning was a bad idea, I went ahead and made two new little crocheted toys for them … and stuffed them with the best catnip I have.

Myu was less than impressed, as she always is when it comes to catnip. The really funny thing is that while I was getting the camera ready to take photos and videos, I left the new toys up on the kitchen worktable, a place that is impossible for either cat to get onto without making some noise (or so I thought), and somehow, in the few minutes it took for me to get the camera, Myu got one of the toys off that table … silently. Of course once she had it, she didn’t really want to play with it.

Ronin, on the other hand, started going insane as soon as he saw me pull out the wool, the needle, and the catnip container. There’s only one thing he likes better than new toys and that’s new toys containing high quality kitty drugs. I’m pretty sure I should feel lucky to still have all the fingers on my hand after taking this photo.

Since Ronin was having so much fun playing in the living room, and it’s almost impossible to take photos of a fast-moving cat, I decided to grab some video (even though the lighting was weird), so there are now three short video bits over at YouTube of Ronin enjoying the new toys: Cat on Catnip 1, 2 and 3. Myu has a brief walk-on role in the first one, but these are really nothing but Ronin.

My plan to placate the monsters with toys and drugs must have worked, at least temporarily. Instead of following me around and staring at me, they are now passed out peacefully. Success!

There are two cats sitting on the floor just to the right of my chair. They are staring at me, saucers for eyes and unblinking … just sitting and staring right at me. Occasionally one of them lets out a little chirp or the end of a tail will twitch ever so slightly. I believe they are planning something evil. I am beginning to fear for my life.

It must be time to break out the treats and cat nip.

Yesterday when I was looking for my old paintings and my college portfolio, I had to get into the bedroom closet. I booted the cats from the room and closed the door, which didn’t stop them from knowing exactly what I was doing. Now Myu will NOT leave the closet door alone. She can’t open it. I have finally found a way, using two guitars in cases and the TV on its stand, to make sure that no cat can access the bedroom closet. All the same, she just keeps scratching and scratching and scratching at it. Therefore, the cats have been banished from the bedroom today, and that, of course, is leading to the usual kitty temper tantrums.

I can already tell, today is not going to be a good cat day.

The cats turned one and a half years old today. I took some photos, but not a one turned out good. They were being less than cooperative, though they have been sweethearts all day for a change. Well, except this morning while I was sleeping, I heard Ronin on the bed chirping. He chirps when he is really excited about something or wants to play. I cracked open my sleepy eyes to find both of them a mere six inches from my face just staring at me wild-eyed and bushy-tailed. I tried to go back to sleep, but that just isn’t possible when there are two cats with unknown intentions eyeballing me at close range.

Haven’t done anything of worth today. Played Final Fantasy. Took a nap. Put a huge roast in the oven which may not be ready for dinnertime. Ran to the store for beverages. Yup, that’s it! I guess I started the weekend early.

I’m still feeling horribly lazy. I think perhaps another quick nap is in order.

My life is so exciting!