Category Archives: Daily Babble

And I Ran…

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Lin and I were walking back to the parking lots under the highway, after a fun night out at a club with friends, and the crosswalk sign changed when we were still a good distance from the crosswalk. It was chilly out, and I wasn’t dressed as warmly as I should have been, so seeing the crosswalk allowing crossing well before I’m close enough to cross the street was a bit of a bummer. It meant standing in the cold wind waiting.

“Wanna run?” Lin said.

“Yes!” I shouted as I took off running.

Lin called out from somewhere behind me that he was stopping. He was close enough to make it. By that time, I was already crossing the street. Still running, and I didn’t stop until I got to the truck. Running. Running and enjoying it.

I’d run about the distance of a block. Not far by any stretch of the imagination, but that was the furthest I had run in, well, probably years. A lot of years. As I was running, I noticed a few things.

It felt good. I wasn’t pushing myself at all, just casually running, and it felt so good! My legs were strong and sturdy underneath me. My footings were sound. When I finally stopped, my breathing was as slow and steady as it would have been had I strolled along at a snail’s pace. My heart was still beating out a steady calm rhythm. Even more importantly perhaps, nothing hurt. Not the back, the neck, the bum knee or ankle. Every single part of me felt vital, alive, and STRONG. I felt better during that one short jog than I have in weeks, maybe months. Possibly even years.

I don’t know how far I could run. How fast. At what point would it stop being fun and feeling good and start feeling awful. I think I’m curious to find out. I’d planned to start walking when the weather outside turned warm, but now I think I’d rather see just how much running ability might still be within me.

I used to run everywhere, before I was a smoker and spent too much of my day sitting. I used to love running, and I was good at it … fast and with an excellent reserve for endurance over distance. While I doubt I’ll ever be able to run as fast or as long as I did in my youth, I’m curious enough to give it a try, so this spring I’ll be buying me some good running shoes and RUNNING!

I can’t believe it myself. Me willingly running? But what I felt during that be short sprint down a city street felt better than any drug, and it sparked joyful memories in my body and mind. I have to see if I can recapture that sensation! LOL!

Skewed Body Image

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I was just watching the morning news, and the usual “health” segment came on. I don’t tend to pay any attention to them. On a good day, it’s just a bit of fluff news reporting, and on a bad day, it’s totally lacking in facts and full of inaccuracies. In other words, not worth paying attention to, no matter what the subject. But I looked up just in time to see the graphic they’d chosen to use for their “heart vs. pear shaped body type diabetes warning” … and it annoyed me enough to write this post.

As the newscaster said the words “A man with a waist of 40 inches or more” the photo used was a naked man’s waist with a tape measure around it. The numbers on the tape measure read 40″, and it was obviously an accurate representation of a less than buff man’s waistline.

As the newscaster said the words “A woman with a waist of 35 inches or more” the photo used was a naked woman’s waist with a tape measure loosely held around it, the numbers unreadable, and it was obviously an image of a very buff woman’s waistline.

Now I am not all that buff, but I am (and always have been) rather small in size. I have also sewn more small-sized women’s clothing than I care to admit. I know what smaller waist sizes measure within an inch or two without having to get out a tape measure. The waistline used to graphically represent a woman’s waistline “of 35 inches or more” was smaller than my own waist measurement, which means it’s was in the low twenties … at least more than ten inches less than the 35 inch diabetes “warning” measurement.

And people wonder why women have a skewed perspective of their own bodies? This is a perfect example of the sort of –for lack of a better word– programming women get. Men’s bodies depicted accurately and discussed accurately, and women’s bodies being represented irrationally. A twenty-something inch waist being shown to demonstrate a 35 inch waist. It’s a two-fold negative message.

Women who are aware of what a 35 inch waist actually looks like, because they do or have owned one, are reminded that a woman with a 35 inch waist isn’t appropriate or okay enough to be show on the morning news. Women’s waists should always look like flat boards or they shouldn’t be seen publicly.

Women who own small waistlines, in the range of the image shown or smaller, are made to feel that they are in the range of body sizes that need to worry about pre-diabetes, and they better not gain any weight at all or they’ll be unhealthy. They might even get the impression that they are already overweight, if they are the sort of person prone to eating disorders and/or skewed personal body image.

Anyway, it chapped my hide enough in my pre-coffee state to write this post, mostly because I’ve been in women’s clothing departments a lot lately shopping for new clothes, and I’ve noticed a few annoying instances of the misrepresentation of women’s bodies out there too. For example, images of women wearing the clothing on sale in the juniors and standard sized departments who are those sizes and women in the plus sized department who are also small enough to wear junior sized clothing and not the plus sized versions being sold below them. If there are any images of women in the plus sized department at all.

As a society, we are quite honest about the varied and sundry shapes of the male form, and so all but the most extremely large men own bodies that are viewed as natural and acceptable. Women’s bodies are nearly always depicted as Playboy Bunnies or runway models, and so anyone who doesn’t happen to fit into that particular mold is seen as fat/ugly/unfit/unnatural … and unacceptable.

If we could just start showing real women’s bodies as they actually exist, at least in health segments on the morning news, if not in advertising, it would go a long way to making the female firm of all shapes and sizes acceptable by society, and maybe women could stop stressing out about their waistlines and start loving themselves.

And now I’m going to go make my coffee and change the TV channel before the morning news rotates around to that health segment a second time and raises my ire again.

End of an Era

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Yesterday, I finally went back to my old HEB to see what the store was like now that the huge rebuilding/remodeling project is finished. Lin had stopped by there a few weeks ago, and he said he hated it, but I had to go see for myself.

Well … I hate it too.

Sure, it’s all clean and newly painted and has all new fixtures, but the actual experience of trying to buy groceries there is awful. The general layout of the place is unlike any other grocery store. Cheeses, instead of being in the dairy area are sprinkled here and there. I never did find the bags of grated cheeses. Maybe they don’t even have any. Canned vegetables, likewise, are also not all in one place. I’m sure they sell toilet paper and paper towels, but I never happened across them. These are just examples. I could go on.

When I did find the things I had on my list, I found they had at most two or three varieties/brands available, and those brands tended to be the worst, cheapest, and least healthy options. It’s a store practically stocked entirely with generic brands. And don’t ask me about the coffee selection. I wasn’t expecting to find fair trade organic whole beans imported from around the world, but I would have been happy to find a bag of Starbucks (and I hate Starbucks coffee).

The lack of variety and selection extended to the produce department as well. There were two kinds of tomatoes. Large round ones and small Romas. There were NO cherry tomatoes of any kind. None. I have shopped in a lot of little grocery stores and odd shops selling food, and well … even convenience stores have some kind of cherry tomato. It wasn’t just cherry tomatoes that we’re missing. The produce department took up a ton of space, but it barely had anything in it. Just piles and piles of a few things.

I can’t even bring myself to talk about the meat department. All I’ll say is … large plexiglass bins full of preseasoned chicken parts and scoops. The rest is best left to your imagination.

Checking out went more quickly than ever. They had more than two registers open for a change, and that was nice. The experience of not being able to find what I needed (because who knows where it might be hidden, if they even had it), the low quality of nearly all the products I did find, and the fact I know I spent more for less product, has left me sad. The store is even less useful than it was before they remodeled and modernized it. It’s a shame the store closest to my home sucks so badly.

I’m even more sad for the people who have to shop there. I have options. I can get in the truck and drive to Tech Ridge or anywhere else to find the items I want, but I remember what it was like when I wasn’t so blessed. Back when I was walking or riding the bus to get groceries, had I been stuck shopping at a store like this newly remade HEB, my diet would have been total crap by default, because there wouldn’t have been any choice. So I’m a little sad for myself that my neighborhood store is so awful, but mostly, I’m sad for the rest of the people in my ‘hood who have no options other than shopping at that crappy, crappy store full of overpriced less-than-nutritious crap.

I won’t be going back. I’d hoped at the very least it would be a place I could go to pick up basic items when I didn’t feel like going to Tech Ridge, but it’s not even going to be good for that. I wouldn’t even plunder that store in the event of a zombie apocalypse.

Art Night!

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Last night, we went to the Laguna Gloria Museum to see the works of Lauren Fensterstock and Steve Wiman. It was our first time visiting Laguna Gloria, and all I can say about the grounds is … WOW! We wandered around a little, but we’ll definitely have to go back when Spring arrives and the weather is more amenable to leisurely strolls through gardens full of sculptures. Or at least during the day when it’s sunny and there isn’t a wicked cold front starting to blow into town.

After our short stroll and a nice adult beverage, we finally went into the museum proper to look at the exhibits. Lauren’s work was a thousand times more fabulous in person than it was in photographs! I’d really been looking forward to seeing her work in person, and it did not disappoint. Her drawings were detailed and intriguing, her smaller boxed and hung paper and charcoal pieces were gorgeous, but her large installation pieces were just as stunning as I expected them to be.

Expanses of black paper vegetation, sparkling charcoal soil, and reflective plexi water. Like a fractal, they contained more detail the closer one looked, and of course, I got my nose right up on them, because I do love the details. I also love paper and charcoal. As we were leaving the building, we had the opportunity to chat with Lauren and tell her how much we loved her work. Meeting the artist is always awesome! She was really sweet, even though I’m sure she had much more important people to pay attention to than us.

Steve’s work was also interesting. Two pieces involved orbs, and as I’m sure you all know, I’m more than a little fond of orbs. One was especially interesting to me … an arrangement of balls of various strings and twines in a variety of sizes. I could have stared at it for hours. Loved the textures and gentle natural colors! Some of his works didn’t speak to me personally, but they were lovely. I’m glad I had a chance to see his works, even though they weren’t all to my liking. All art can’t and doesn’t have to speak to all people, after all!

We went back outside and enjoyed some more wine and beer while we huddled by one of the propane heaters and talked about the art and scenery. I finished my wine before Lin’s beer was gone, so I wandered back inside to look at the art more time. Once I’d finished storing it all to my memories, Lin and I made the somewhat excessive (and chilly) trek back to the truck and headed to Outback Steakhouse for what was a really huge and completely tasty meal. And more wine, of course!

Last night was a great night! Tomorrow night,we head downtown to the Arthouse for an exhibition preview party. Should be fun too, though it’s going to be even colder now that Winter has set in again for a bit. All the same, I’m looking forward to going. Love going to parties, meeting people, and looking at art! Always inspires me to get back to work on my own, and I should toddle off to the “studio” right now and get to work. I have so many things started. Need to get some finished!

Murderous New Year

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Austin started the new year off with murders on both the first two days. I spent most of day three hoping there wouldn’t be a third murder, because that would really start to feel like a disturbing trend. Though the worst case scenario of massive numbers of murders happening this year will likely not become reality, the two that have happened are disturbing me all the same.

The first murder happened in the North University area about five miles from my house. The victim was a young woman … a teaching assistant who by all accounts was a wonderful human being with a bright future helping kids. It’s very sad. It’s also concerning, because two other women were also attacked in the same area that same night/morning, and while there haven’t yet been any evidence connecting the attacks and the murder, it certainly seems quite likely.

So far, all they have is a police sketch of the man who attacked the two women, and they haven’t yet caught him. So who knows, there may be a man attacking women and a man who murdered a woman, or they may be one and the same. What really matters to me is that there’s at least one man out there, very near my own neighborhood (and in an area I am sometimes in), who is dangerous. I guess the best case scenario here is that the attacker and the murderer is one and the same, because the police sketch is engraved in my brain. If the attacker isn’t the murderer, well then there’s someone out there who broke into a young woman’s house and killed her, and we don’t have a clue who they are.

On the second day of the new year, I turned on the local news, and the very first story I heard hit even closer to home. A woman’s body was found in a dumpster behind the T-Mobile store just a couple blocks away. I recognized the location beef they even announced the address, because I’ve walked by that very dumpster who knows how many times over the years cutting through the parking lots on my way to the Walgreens at the corner. The victim in this case was a 34 year old homeless woman, and if the police have any information on what happened, it’s not making the news.

Maybe the attacks and both murders are all the same person, maybe there’s two people. Maybe there’s three. Who knows right now. All I do know is that there’s one or more dangerous and potentially deadly persons walking free after committing crimes in the area of Austin I call my stomping grounds. I find myself a little unsettled.

The major reason I am finding these crimes more unsettling than usual is that I’ve had an interest in Austin murders since I served on a jury for a murder trial. I’ve been tracking the trends and causes of local murders for years, and generally speaking, murders in Austin tend to happened between people with connections to one another. They are quickly and easily solved, and the perpetrators locked up in a matter of days or at least identified and on the run.

The reasons for the person killing someone almost always tends to be interpersonal conflict, either long-standing or heat-of-the-moment, between persons already involved in each other’s lives … family, friends, spouses, roommates, drug connections, and so on. So far, the two recent murders don’t match the trend I’ve seen developing over the years. I dont like it when events don’t fit established trends.

With the information we have currently, it very much seems like there’s no connection between criminal and victims. Perhaps more information will come out and there will be some connection, but for now, I have to work with the information I have, and that information tells me there’s someone out there just killing people for no reason at all. It’s bad enough when people get killed for completely stupid reasons by people they knew and sometimes even loved, but for no reason at all (or some insane reason a crazy person has in their head)? That’s even more disturbing, because it’s far more difficult to avoid. I can avoid having people in my life who I feel might snap and do me harm during a disagreement, but I can’t very well avoid insane and murderous strangers, unless I never leave my house (which I do almost daily).

Hopefully, more information will come to light soon in both cases and the perp or perps will be caught. In the meantime, I’m going to be a little more watchful while out and about alone.

Staycation is Over

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The new year is still a newborn, and I’m already overwhelmed by all the things I need to get done. I meant to get caught up on a few projects while Lin was on vacation, but instead … I opted to spend my time sitting in the living room with Lin watching Star Trek Voyager on Netflix. I don’t suppose I should give myself a gold star for watching two seasons of a TV show, should I?

It’s not like this is unprecedented behavior. Whenever we don’t go somewhere for a real vacation and Lin takes a Xmas to New Year stay-at-home break from work, nothing of true importance ever gets done. Not all that much different from when we go away on vacation, except those kinds of vacations at least leave me with a bunch of photographs and some stories to tell. Staycations allow me to feel guilty about not doing anything at all, because I was at home, so I could have done SOMETHING that needed doing.

C’est la vie.

Going to try not to beat myself up about it too much. After all, when am I not behind on a list of things that should have been done days or weeks earlier? LOL! The last couple of years, that seems to have become my persistent state of being. I’ll bumble around for a few more days as I get my butt in gear and decide on a plan of action (or two), and by next week, I’m sure I’ll be on track and ready to attack the projects that have been mostly on hold since the holiday madness began.

This holiday season was more grueling than usual with historically high levels of family dysfunctionality and the added complication of my mom having a health issue. Mom has an appointment with her doctor tomorrow, so hopefully the health issue will get sorted out satisfactorily. I can’t really get embroiled in any of the big things I need to do until after her appointment because a) I’m a little worried and b) Mom is freaking out (and wants to be on the phone with me all day). And all I’ll say about the family dysfunctionality is that I’ve finally decided I am done putting up with it. Going forward, I will not be spending neary two months or more of every year wallowing in steaming piles of family-induced stress. I have better things to do.

My first priority, aside from bringing some much needed order and cleanliness to the household, is to get ready to attend a gallery reception next week. I need something warm and fashionable to wear, and I need new business cards. But today, I’m just going to focus on getting some housework done and staying awake. The “staying awake” part is going to be hard, and I suspect I will end up crawling back into bed for a bit at some point. I stupidly allowed myself to sleep in every day between Xmas and today, and now, I’ll be paying for it. When a giant mug of coffee doesn’t get me in gear at all, you have to know I will not be able to resist snoozing at some point (likely sooner rather than later). It doesn’t help that winter has decided to make another freezing cold appearance. When it’s this cold, all I want to do is sleep.†

Guess I should have a little breakfast and make a game plan for the day. I’m pretty sure the only things I can hope to accomplish today are getting the dishes done, clearing the rubble from my art table, and baking some cookies. I’ve already decided we’ll be having tamales for dinner tonight, since I do happen to have a bunch of them in my freezer.††

In closing, I hope everyone has a prosperous and happy year, and if you’re the sort to make New Year’s resolutions, may you find it easy to stick to them!

Happy New Year!!!

Footnotes
  1. † Doesn’t help that the furnace is being excessively cranky this morning. Cranky furnace = cold house = cranky and unproductive Orb. [↩]
  2. †† I’ve been working on a post about my journey into the world of tamale making. With luck,I should be done writing and editing it tomorrow … or shortly thereafter. [↩]

Tis the Season

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Yesterday brought the arrival of the first of the spring gardening catalogs. Therefore, I spent the afternoon, evening, and most of the night organizing and inventorying my seed collection and contemplating this year’s vegetable garden.

The last few years, my goal had been to create enough of a few vegetables to put some back for winter eating. Thanks to the worst and longest drought in Texas history, I have failed to achieve this goal. I am not at all certain this drought is done with us yet, so this year, my gardening goal will be a little different.

This year, I will plant a larger variety of vegetable in smaller quantities. My goal is merely to supply my kitchen with tasty fresh veggies for as long as the season lasts. I’ve successfully managed to do this every year since I started gardening, so all I am really doing is releasing myself from the stress of trying to stockpile food and the disappointed that comes when that doesn’t happen. I love gardening, and I want to continue to love gardening.

Years ago when we started our mission to eat as locally, organically, and ethically as possible, sources for such foodstuffs were few and far between. Working toward stockpiling things grown in my own garden was a worthy goal. But now, there are so many places I can go all year ’round to buy healthy, in season, local produce at reasonable prices. Also, our financial situation has improved slightly, so if I want to buy organic produce, and it costs a little more than the non-organic options, I can without feeling like I’m breaking the bank.

I know that someday, our very own backyard will be capable of producing much of our dietary needs, but until such time as the weather cooperates with me, it seems silly to keep being so ambitious. Last year was awful. There has never been a more awful summer in my life. The extreme heat, the lack of rain, the fires (and constant threat of fire). The day I finally realized there was no hope for my garden was a sad, sad day. It was supposed to have been my best year yet, and it turned into the worst. The experience of working so hard for so little return almost killed my desire to garden at all.

But then the first gardening catalogs arrived, and apparently, I am still addicted to gardening. I just need to change gears. Less focus of production output … more focus on fun and relaxation! I’m looking forward to this year’s garden. Who knows what the weather will be like. Maybe better. Maybe the same. It could even get worse (though I shudder to imagine worse). I’m just going to do the best I can to get something for my work, but mostly, I’ll be doing the best I can to enjoy myself and my garden and spending time outside doing something interesting and heathy.

Let the garden planning begin!