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  1. I felt it was important to reach out to you & I really didn’t know what other way to reach out. Yes, I’ve noticed that you have unfriended me on every platform I was friends with you on. I don’t exactly know what I did to you personally or if I said something to you personally, because I do have adult ADHD and sometimes things I say do come out in a way I didn’t mean, but I don’t think I have really even talked to you much lately except for asking questions about cats in the Sims. So I have to figure it’s another reason and knowing the divisive climate this country is in, pretty much the reasons that people unfriend others is the person’s perceived view on politics. I try not to get into politics for lots of reasons. One being that I run a business and one sure way of alienating half the people that may use my business is to post political things. Another is that I am not one to fit into a red or blue box or file. I’m not a Democrat nor am I a Republican so often people do confuse me with being one or the other but I am not. In fact, I’ve probably voted more third party than either one of the major parties. To me they are almost different sides to the same coin. What I mean is that they both seem to want to grow the size of the federal government one way or another. So I don’t feel at home in either box or file. Things are not black and white nor are they red or blue in my opinion. The reason I’m discussing my political views at this point is because I feel that it is a strong possibility that I may have been judged and put into one basket or the other and so I think explaining how I am an individual and I am different and have different views than other people may help with you deciding on whether or not you unfriended me for cause or not. Of course it’s your prerogative to friend or unfriend anyone on your social media. The only reason I’m taking this step is because I felt strongly enough that we’ve been friends online for over a decade, we have quite a bit in common, and I personally would like to salvage the friendship. So I’m going to try and that means sharing a part of myself I don’t normally share, especially now because everyone is so polarized to either red or blue and the country as a whole has become a lot more close-minded to any opinion or thought that differs.

    I actually have colleagues who have been hit with bad reviews just because of them posting something political. People are scared to speak up because they will be alienated. And if one does speak up, they are vehemently attacked online. I have liberal and conservative friends. I have gay, straight, bi, lesbian and transgender friends. I have Christian friends, Jewish friends, Muslim friends, Buddhist friends and atheist friends. I don’t want to align myself with everyone who agrees with me and thinks just like me. First of all, I’m fairly sure there really isn’t too many that think like me because everyone seems to be full on Democrat or full on Republican. But even in each one there are tiers of people that are moderate or staunch D’s or R’s (not going to write out Democrat and Republican each time, so will be D or R). I belong to groups that are basically liberal minded and if a trump supporter posts pro-trump stuff in there, they will be flamed on, denigrated and probably banned or blocked. I also belong to a conservative group and if you post anything in there pro-abortion they will ban or block you and kick you out. So what do people do like me who have opinions that could be considered liberal and some that are considered conservative? Pretty much keep our mouth shut and use the group for what we joined which is to get colleagues to help each other out with cases or refer cases. Which again, is why I don’t really post much political stuff. Sure, I follow a lot of different “political” things on both sides. I do that because I want to know what each side is saying or doing because it’s so polarized. Just like I read news from both conservative and liberal leaning groups. I try to keep an open mind and will read articles that upon first glance I may not agree with. People I don’t agree with we generally agree to disagree. Only associating with like-minded people so you don’t ever have someone offer a different opinion just seems kind of silly and boring.

    I have noticed that in general it is liberal minded people that will quickly unfriend or block someone. But I also have seen it with staunch trump supporters. And now with this pandemic it seems to be divided into those who want to reopen everything are generally trump supporters or people worried about ‘the economy’ or people worried about ‘government overreach and tyranny’ (which is definitely something to worry about no matter who is in the White House) and people that are more liberal worried about the virus and wanting things to stay shut down. I am worried about all of it. I wear my mask even though hubby does not. He is one of those let’s reopen everything type people. I am worried about the virus because I have asthma. He should be worried because he has high blood pressure, but men can be very stubborn at times. I have another perspective that other people do not. Because I deal with family law matters, I’ve seen a spike in domestic violence, drug abuse, and child abuse cases since the lock-downs. People mentally are suffering. Some people are very alone. Suicides have skyrocketed as well. So people are suffering and dying, whether it’s from the virus, domestic violence or mental health issues that have been exacerbated due to the lock-down. What is the best course of action? I don’t know and I don’t envy anyone in government having to deal with this. We need more testing of course, and preferably not tainted tests. We need antibody testing. But we do not need surveillance through our smartphones or putting everyone into the DNA database using blood from antibody testing and/or requiring mandatory vaccinations (especially for any rushed vaccine that hasn’t gone through normal testing procedures, any more than drugs that are not prescribed by doctors or been tested).
    To be clear, in the past, Republicans have advanced far more police state and surveillance laws than Democrats did (thinking back to Bush, Real ID, and Patriot Act). I was a card carrying member of the ACLU for that very reason. I don’t want microchips ever to be implanted into me (not because of Bible prophesies more than I just want to be left alone by the gov’t and that includes any tracking or surveillance). I don’t want biometric identifiers to get in places. I’m getting to the point where I’ll be leaving my smartphone at home even. Now it seems a lot of Democrats are on board with these types of things and more of a police state. I have no idea what to think a lot of times as all of these things concern me to some extent and I can get myself into a very stressful state thinking about all of it and if our world has completely changed forever.

    But unlike other people you may have come in contact with that lean conservative or are not staunch anti-trump, I can think for myself and I do have an open mind. I don’t have the answers on how to fix a lot of the issues and the situations we are dealing with. I’m open to new ideas and I don’t just want to hear about it from people who may think like me. Because rest assured, I do not think like them on every issue. I may be fiscally conservative but I’m absolutely socially liberal. I’m actually what they refer to as a classical liberal. I just want the gov’t not to intrude in my life and to leave me alone. If I endanger someone else or do something that warrants the gov’t to intrude that is one thing. I’ve been following recommendations not because the gov’t says to do so, but because I’m an adult and able to think for myself and understand the risks to myself and to my husband (and even to my pets) if I were to get COVID-19. Granted my thoughts might be different if I wasn’t able to work from home and we had no income for a month nor could we even apply for unemployment. People are actually surprised that car break ins and business burglaries are up. Duh. People have no money and when the economy gets as bad as it is now or it was in 2008 when the subprime crisis happened then yes people will resort to crime to eat or survive. It was horrible for me back in 2008-2010 when the recession happened. My mom passed away and when she passed I lost $1800/month I was getting to help with my expenses while in law school. My home was in foreclosure for years and almost lost I don’t know how many times. With persistence I saved our home so yes the economy is scary for a lot of people, including myself. But my business tends to thrive when times are bad because I do divorce and family law. I haven’t seen much reduction in income but each month that begins I wonder is the month that everyone stops paying and we don’t make enough to pay our bills. I guess I will never feel completely at ease because we were almost on the street, we’ve had to be on food stamps and I still tearfully remember one of the last Christmases before my mother was too sick where she asked me what we wanted and my immediate answer was FOOD, because we were struggling so hard to make ends meet and were drowning. So even though I may not be worried about my next meal, it hasn’t been that long that I have forgotten what that is like. And it’s a reason why I do help out friends when I can. Because I’ve been there. To be honest I really have very few friends. I’m not that outgoing or social (unlike hubby). I work from home so I don’t meet a lot of people to get to know. Most, if not all, of the friends I have are because I met them through my husband. I have a lot of colleagues and acquaintances. But I don’t really TALK to people much. I don’t mind being by myself but I do long to have other friends and it’s just difficult for me. Even more so during this age of polarization. But I have never deleted or unfriended anyone due to their opinion on politics or anything. Now granted if I had someone who believed it was okay to kill cats, then yes I’d delete and block that person. I’m a strong advocate for animal rights and against animal cruelty. So there are some things I would unfriend or delete someone for. But having a different view on politics or religion (which are the two big no-nos to discuss) I don’t. Now if someone is posting a lot of hateful posts one way or the other I might change the settings so I don’t see their posts as much but I don’t delete. I’ve noticed sometimes people go through phases and maybe they are hot about some issue and then it dies down and they are like they were before and not posting hateful stuff.

    Anyhow, I know I wrote a huge long comment, but most people won’t bother to even reach out at all if they get deleted. My husband deleted a long time friend of his because he posted some stupid hateful stuff. I did not delete him. I still talk to him. I may not agree with his posts but we have known this person for many years and know deep down inside he is a good person and would help someone that needed it. While you and I have never met in person, I feel like I’ve known you and been right there with you through your own trials and tribulations. I feel like we are about the same age and have some opinions in common. We both like cats, video games (I still need kitten pieces), knitting, art etc. We both are married with no kids and that is especially rare and probably one reason I don’t have a lot of friends because I missed out on the whole raising kids and now grandkids phase that most everyone else is occupied with so I had nothing in common with them because when you have kids/grandkids your whole life seems to revolve around that.

    So yes, I was upset at being deleted and unfriended and felt like I’ve lost a friend, which saddened me. No, maybe we don’t agree on everything but at the very least I do keep an open mind on things. But chances are we may agree on more than you think too. I don’t know because I generally do not have these discussions with people in this age of polarization. I like looking at silly cat photos of cats sticking their heads in water, cat videos, and reading your posts about your hubby working from home lately.

    I don’t even know if I’m worth enough as a friend you’ve known for years to even read this entire comment, but I’m hoping I am. I hope you will reconsider unfriending me at some point as well. Until then I guess I’m at least happy I can read your posts and comment (even if not acknowledged), however if no one responds to my comments much I usually will slow down or stop commenting anyhow as I already feel pretty alone sometimes and like I just don’t fit anywhere or in any certain color box or file. I believe in shades of gray versus black and white on things and that seems to be rare these days.

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