Today I saw my first white-supremacist, Neo-Nazi family … in person and totally certain that’s what they were. I’m sure I’ve seen some before, but they weren’t advertising the fact loudly or at all. This family? The skin art alone was a walking billboard for racist hate and Neo-Nazism.

Stunned into gawping at the recognition of what I was looking at, I actually inhaled sharply and audibly.

I don’t think I have ever, in my entire life, EVER stared at anyone just because of the way they looked or what they were wearing or how they were being. I just don’t really pay strangers much attention beyond “is anyone f*cking with me right this minute?” If the answer to that question is “no” then all the humans around me are merely moving obstacles I have to navigate around and an interesting background blur. I have never seen anyone doing, saying or wearing anything that ever made me do more than maybe take a second glance at them, but to actually gasp at the mere sight of someone and be rendered dumbfounded and offended all at once? That’s just never happened, and I have lived my entire adult life in what could be called the grittier parts of cities. There are weird, obnoxious, and awful people of all kinds everywhere all the time. The ones that can be tolerated are the ones you don’t really notice. My previous neighbors were racist assholes, and I am certain there are more of them in the area, but they don’t advertise it openly and boldly. It took me a couple of years to pin down that the previous neighbors were racist assholes.

My Danger Meter^† had already pinged, because I knew there was a family somewhere in the store that had three small running, screaming demon spawn from hell children. One of the trio ran into me. He was about 6 years old, with a mohawk buzzcut and wearing a camouflage t-shirt, camouflage sweatpants, and a red headband of some sort. That’s all I could see as he tore around the corner followed by two nearly identical siblings. I scanned the area briefly, because I wanted to note whose children they were, so I could avoid them as much as possible. People who have small children an aisle or more away from them running into people and knocking things over are to be avoided, if at all possible, while grocery shopping.

I turned the corner and immediately matched the children to their parental units. They were all similarly dressed and the obvious genetics matched. Simply for being “those kinds of parents” with “those kinds of kids” who will make my shopping trip a living hell if I am anywhere near them, I passed them as quickly as I could. Out of the corner of my eye, I noted the father and mother were covered in tattoos. When I came to a stopping point in an open area of the meat department (had to check my shopping list), I looked at them again, because tattoos catch my interest. If someone has some particularly lovely art, I might even say something to them about it. I like tattoos.

Well, at the very moment I looked up from my list to see what kinds of tattoos the parents had, the father pulled his sleeveless t-shirt up over his big belly and wiped his mouth. That alone is the sort of thing that puts a person firmly into my “avoid at all costs, even if they camp out in front of the very last item you need and won’t move – you didn’t need that item that badly anyway” category of persons. That’s my classification for people who do not have a basic set of social (and cleanliness) skills in their repertoire. I don’t hate them for it, but I don’t want to be anywhere near them either. Then I got beyond being somewhat grossed out by the utter lack of basic social skills, and my mind focused on the tattoos. I like tattoos, but I didn’t like these tattoos.

There are some symbols that just stand out. The swastika is one of them. Especially huge red and black ones. This guy had a few. What really, really slapped me in the face (beyond the fact I had just been exposed to ass crack and hideous underwear) was his giant back piece, which featured a photographic representation of Hitler’s head superimposed on some grand white marble building flanked by two large flowing Nazi flags. It was –unfortunately– beautifully done. It must have cost him a fortune to get. In addition to that, every inch of his body, from chin down to toes and all the way out to both hands, was covered with the stuff. Pale, white, freckled skin webbed with hate.

My first thought was “You guys must be new around here.” Well, that was my first thought after my brain reengaged after having freaked out for a moment and had too many thoughts all at the same time.

I did not know how to react to seeing anything like that out in the wild. Oh, I’ve seen people like that on TV –covered in hateful tattoos and just exuding hate– but I’ve never actually seen one up close and in any neighborhood I’ve ever lived. People like that always lived elsewhere and not been a mere several feet away from my person. My body decided not to hide my obvious shock, and I felt a mix of fear and revulsion, which I am certain showed on my face. It showed on other viewers faces, that much I can tell you. The people being gawped at were either completely oblivious to the fact they had attracted mass attention, or they just didn’t care … possibly they were enjoying it. Who knows. I didn’t stand around to psychoanalyze them. I made haste to get as far away from them as I could and finish my shopping so I could get out of the store.

People like that either cause trouble or are the cause of trouble, and I didn’t want to be anywhere near it. Right now, Austin is in the middle of a huge racial situation due to another young black man being shot dead by the police over on the East side. Racial tensions are extremely high. A person would have to be insane to broadcast too loudly that they are racist assholes in my very multicultural neighborhood grocery store … even on a normal day! It was completely outrageous!

I’m still dumbfounded, shocked, appalled, offended, and disgusted just sitting here thinking about it. I hope one of their small running, screaming demon spawn from hell children never runs into me again. I don’t ever want to see or be near that family. It freaks me out enough to know they likely live somewhere in the general area!

People say we now live in a post-racial world. Sorry, but we don’t … not if there are people happy to walk around in my grocery store with its interesting mix of ethnic groups and cultures (or in public anywhere) openly advertising racial prejudice.

1. † When I am out in public alone, I am only connected to the outside world by my Danger Meter. The lower the “is anyone f*cking with me or about to f*ck with me” reading on my Danger Meter, the less I notice anyone in particular around me. At the grocery store, I always feel safe enough I barely see any one person at all there, except for the staff, many of whom I know my name. They are just moving obstacles I have to navigate around who occasionally move erratically. [↩]