I’m sure everyone has heard that Michael Phelps was caught on film with a bong attached to his lips, presumably inhaling marijuana smoke. Well, I have something to say about that.

If I’d been Phelps, I would have stood right in front of the cameras and said “Yeah, I smoke pot … and I still won 8 gold medals at the Olympics.” That’s the truth, isn’t it? The truth isn’t that smoking pot instantly creates losers who can’t do anything right or well. Losers are losers no matter what they smoke or don’t smoke. A lot of successful people smoke pot too, and never do any of them have the balls to stand up and say “Yes, I smoke pot, and I still managed to succeed!”

This stupid war on marijuana has been going on forever. Longer than my lifetime. Longer than my mom’s lifetime. We still haven’t managed to eradicate it, and it still hasn’t brought about the fall of civilization. What a ridiculous waste of time, energy, and money that could be devoted to better pursuits like education, legalization, and taxation of the dreaded reefer.

And don’t get me started on America’s obsession with whether or not Obama has had a cigarette since becoming President. Who really cares? We know the man drinks cocktails. I don’t see anyone getting up in arms about that, and alcohol is at least as dangerous as the equally LEGAL cigarettes. Gah!