Natural Born Vagina
December 13th, 2008 - 2:36 pm
Friday, the SCOTUS had the conference in which they discussed the latest Obama-not-natural-born case. No word by close of business Friday on whether or not they are going to deny it like they did the other(s). Great, another long weekend of insane blathering from the supporters of these cases going on about them waiting to announce they will hear the case so the National Guard can be in place to handle the riots and going on and on and on about protecting the Constitution and saving the United States of America from having an illegitimate President … all the while fomenting plans for their own riots should they not get things their way.
There’s been an undercurrent of something throughout all the posts and comments I have been reading the last few weeks that I just couldn’t put my finger on. It wasn’t until today that it all became clear to me. All of these people — every last one of them, of those who are willing to at least admit Obama was born in Hawaii — are quoting case law and historical documents which state that citizenship passes through the father. No mention of the mother, of course, because in the 1800’s, women were chattel, and their citizenship was determined by who they were married to if their citizenship even mattered at all. Women were … worthless as citizens. They were barely citizens at all, having almost no rights whatsoever. They couldn’t even vote!
Well, I have news for these people. We don’t live in the 1800’s anymore. Women have rights. Women are equal citizens by their own birthright, and that citizenship passes from them to any offspring they may have. Welcome to the modern era!
I have a 100% made-in-America, natural born citizen vagina. Any child passing through my vagina acquires my native and natural citizenship, and it doesn’t matter what the father was/is anymore than it used to not matter what the mother was … back when women didn’t matter. You want to talk about equal rights? Well, there’s an equal right for you! My ova have just as much natural-born-citizenship-granting power as any male American citizen’s sperm. I could go out right now, grab the first foreign, non-citizen male I can find, become pregnant, carry the baby to term, and pop it out in my back yard, and that child would be a natural born citizen of the United States of America.
If “a father has every legal right in the world to have the laws of his nation apply to his son” then so do I. I am not a lesser citizen, and why should my citizenship not pass directly to my child in the same way it does for a father? Why should it not be just as powerful and important? IT SHOULD, AND IT IS!!! F*ck anyone who thinks otherwise.
I can’t believe it took me so long to put together the pieces. I’d noticed how hung up they were about the nationality of Obama’s father, and then I started noticing how no one ever mentioned his mother, who was also the owner of a 100% made-in-America, natural born vagina. Then I read the statement quoted above, and it all made sense. They don’t care that his mother was a natural born American citizen giving birth on American soil, because she just doesn’t matter at all. She’s a WOMAN, and it’s all about the men and the power of their almighty sperm.
I am so livid, I can’t even rant coherently, so I think I will close with this:
This kind of thinking is a million times worse than not being paid equal pay for equal work. This is the diminishing of women back to the day when they didn’t matter at all, aside from doing the work men didn’t want to do and giving birth to sons to carry on the family name and inherit the family estate. Well, why don’t they just take away our right to vote while they are at it? I’m sure they could find some case law from the 1800’s to defend that as well.
You want to see me foment a rebellion? This is exactly the sort of thing that can and will set me off. I promise you right here and right now, if the SCOTUS takes this case on and finds Obama is not a natural born citizen because “a father has every legal right in the world to have the laws of his nation apply to his son” … I will go to Washington, DC. I don’t care if I have to hitchhike the whole way there, live on the streets in the dead of winter, and eat out of dumpsters. I am not kidding.
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4 Responses to “Natural Born Vagina”
The consequences of the Supreme Court declining to address the US Constitution’s “natural born citizen” clause on the morning of Monday 12/15/08 — thereafter enabling the College of Electors to transform the crisis from “law” to “political and Congressional”, leading to the ‘inauguration’ of Mr. Obama, are nothing less than catastrophic. Lawsuits by members of the military challenging his ‘commander in chief’ status are INEVITABLE. And a military takeover to oust the “usurper” may be inevitable as well. Where is the media? This is no “tin foil hat” joke.
The Equal Rights Amendment (ERA) was a proposed amendment to the United States Constitution which was intended to guarantee equal rights under the law for Americans regardless of sex. The ERA failed to gain ratification before its deadline, so equal rights, maybe not so much.
…and if that baby falls out while you are serving on a military base, then it’s not so much natural either (though this one really begs the question, if you birth will serving your country why your kid doesn’t get it, sheesh!)
…and what about Ceasarian Births — they can’t count or test tube babies, they can’t be commander in chef!
or, or, how about the baby of two gay men — how can that be a natural born citizen? I mean, even if the father was, well, who’s to say who the father is? 
Oh, suppose the mom’s are gay, what then? 
No man to base the arguement on, holy cow, that Pres is in deep trouble! And those bloody Kennedy’s, they were Catholic for God sake, we’re just lucky they didn’t sail the Navy to the Holy Sea. So, can an African really be an American if their ancestor’s were kidnapped and illegally brought to the place?
Why is no one asking this question? Man, it sure is good to see this whole Obama thing is just about racist backlash — I was worried there for a moment 
You are absolutely right, Ted. This is no joke. It’s no joke at all when the laws of another country can determine who can and cannot run for President of the United States. That’s the very bottom line of this argument. The laws of another country defining who they deem to be citizens of their country are being applied to a US citizen as if the laws of other countries have any application in the USA. So many people, a great many of them opposed to the newly elected President, talk of fears of a global government. Well, what the hell do we have when a country can say “X is a citizen of our country” even though X was born in another country to a citizen of that country?
Yeah, it’s no joke AT ALL that any child of my loins, no matter the sperm donor, is a fully endowed natural born citizen of these United States and is therefore a holder of the right to run for President of the United States. Otherwise, all we are doing is allowing another country’s laws to govern our actions, and giving them and their citizens more power than we hold for our own laws.
So, if Ireland decides to declare that all redheads born on the Northern Hemisphere are to be considered citizens of Ireland, would we abide by that too? Would all redheaded American citizens suddenly become dual citizens and thereby become ineligible to be considered natural born citizens … just by virtue of being born a redhead? Sounds ludicrous when taken to the extreme, but it is ludicrous to allow other countries laws to determine events and issues taking place on American soil.
Furthermore, I am sick of all this talk of citizenship flowing from the father. As if a man’s rights are more compelling and powerful than a woman’s. That is antiquated thinking dating back to a time when women were wholly and thoroughly discriminated against. I am simply not standing for it.
If people don’t like Obama as Prez, I have 3 words for them: Move to Canada.
Ahhh. It feels so good to throw those words back into those conservatives’ faces.
Petty? Sure. But kinda fitting.