At the Republican National Convention, one of the delegates — a Mr. Gabriel Nathan Schwartz — met a woman in a bar and invited her up to his room. She proceeded to fix him a drink and told him to get undressed. That’s the last thing he remembers. He woke up to find between $50,000 and $120,000 worth of money and personal belongings missing^†. Mr. Schwartz was a rather outspoken delegate, willingly giving interviews to several organizations extolling his ideas about what the next Republican administration needs to do.

In an interview filmed the afternoon of Sept. 3 and posted on the Web site LinkTV.org, Schwartz was candid about how he envisioned change under a McCain presidency.

“Less taxes and more war,” he said, smiling. He said the U.S. should “bomb the hell” out of Iran because the country threatens Israel.

Asked by the interviewer how America would pay for a military confrontation with Iran, he said the U.S. should take the country’s resources.

“We should plant a flag. Take the oil, take the money,” he said. “We deserve reimbursement.”

Seems to me Mr. Schwartz ran into someone just like himself. She bombed the hell out of him, planted her flag, and ran off with his resources. Of course now that the spotlight is on him, he insists his comments during the interview were a joke and thought the interview was “satire” for a “little known internet outlet” — little known, as in broadcast through DIRECTTV and DISH Network into 29 million American homes. I’m not sure what the guy might have been thinking, but I’m thinking is was a matter of either being under the influence of mind-altering substances (which he seriously appears to be during the interview) or not having a mind at all. Watch it yourself^††:

He also had this to say in a public statement:

“As a single man, I was flattered by the attention of a beautiful woman who introduced herself to me,” his statement said. “I used poor judgment. If there is any good that can come from this humiliation, it is to caution others that date rape happens to men, too.”^†††

Having your very expensive stuff stolen is not date rape! He does know the difference between “raped” and “robbed” doesn’t he?

And, from an overview of the Colorado Republican delegates in the Denver Post:

Gabriel N. Schwartz 29, Denver
Second-time delegate

Occupation: Attorney

Years in Colorado: 28

Political leanings: Common-sense conservative

Why did you decide to get involved in this election cycle? I got involved again this election cycle to be sure our country is led by a qualified candidate and not by someone with a lot of empty promises.

What is the most important issue to you in this campaign, and how would you like it to be solved? National security. We must support our friends in the Middle East.

What’s the one experience you MUST have during the convention? In 2004 in New York, my dear friend Jack Weil and I were being interviewed by The Post while standing in line to a Broadway show, there were protesters across the street screaming some sort of nonsense, Jack politely gave the protesters the middle finger. It was a great experience.

Um, common sense conservative? Doesn’t seem like he has much common sense. Are all 29 year olds this stupid … or only the fat-cat Republican lawyer types who wear $4,000 diamond earrings, $30,000 watches, and carry $1,500 cell phones? I did some pretty stupid things in my early twenties, but by 29, I’d pretty much wised up on life in general. Of course, they do say that 40 is the new 30 or some silly thing like that. I guess he’s still got a few years to be stupid, but I don’t think this one will ever grow out of it or wise up.

1. † He says $50,000, but the claims on the initial police report add up to much more than that. Methinks he was trying to scam him insurance for as much as he could, but now all the attention has made him rethink that idea. [↩]
2. †† And please note the mispronunciation of “nuclear” … it’s as if every Republican on the planet doesn’t know how to pronounce what is really any easy word to work out, even if you don’t speak English. [↩]
3. ††† The police are investigating a theft and not a rape. [↩]