A federal appeals court on Monday threw out a $550,000 indecency fine against CBS Corp. for the 2004 Super Bowl halftime show that ended with Janet Jackson’s breast-baring “wardrobe malfunction.”

The three-judge panel of the 3rd U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals ruled that the Federal Communications Commission “acted arbitrarily and capriciously” in issuing the fine for the fleeting image of nudity.

It’s taken four years, but the Halftime Titty Crisis is over, and the ruling was actually sensible. It almost makes me want to put up a Titty Tuesday post tomorrow in celebration. Almost. ;)

Government inspectors finally have a big clue in the nationwide salmonella outbreak: They found the same bacteria on a single Mexican-grown jalapeno pepper handled by a small Texas produce shipper.

But Monday’s discovery doesn’t solve the mystery: Authorities don’t know where the pepper became tainted – on the farm, or in the plant in McAllen, Texas, or at some stop in between.

Oh wow! They found one whole pepper that has the same strain of Salmonella! Yes, of course, that explains the whole Saintpaul outbreak! I am not impressed, nor am I convinced. Oh, and they’d also like us to know, even though they never found even a single tomato infected with Saintpaul, they weren’t wrong to implicate tomatoes. Also, tomatoes are now as perfectly safe as ever to eat, which means barely safe at all.

Furthermore, why are so many newspapers and TV stations incapable of spelling jalapeño correctly? I’m convinced it’s because doing so would require them to use a different keystroke to create the correct letter, but it’s possible they don’t even realize it should be spelled with an “ñ” rather than an “n”. They are different letters with very different sounds. It annoys me^†.

Just what the world needs: product placement on the TV news, brought to you by Fox affiliate KVVU in Las Vegas and McDonalds.

In recent weeks, anchors on the Fox affiliate in Las Vegas, KVVU, sit with cups of McDonald’s iced coffee on their desks during the news-and-lifestyle portion of their morning show. The anchors rarely touch the cups.

WFSB in Hartford, Connecticut and WGCL in Atlanta, Georgia are also enjoying the monetary benefit of product placements on their morning shows. There are rules, of course, self-created and self-managed rules. They only have product placements on their morning shows. They’d never do so during hard news! Oh please. Give it time. I predict at some future date, newscasters will be surrounded by products they’d never in a hundred years use themselves to the point of it being ridiculous. If you haven’t seen the movie Idiocracy, you should, and that’s all I will say about that.

I’d rant about this, I really would, but I have such a low opinion of anything calling itself TV news, I barely find this news rant inducing. TV news^†† sold out to some demon years ago. I hope whatever they get out of it is worth their souls. Truly, journalism is on life-support, and the plug is about to be pulled. So imagine with me; a world where a story like this would be so outrageous everyone would be ranting about it, and then let’s go create that world.

Also, if you haven’t heard what Michael Savage had to say on his radio program about autism, it’s worth reading about. Yet again, I find my outrage meter is already pegged and can’t think of anything else to say about this other than Mr. Savage is an ass. A lot of us already know that. Everyone else needs to wake up.

Heard on the radio or by other word of mouth:

There appears to be a major storm moving toward Texas that could turn into a hurricane. Part of me is thinking “Please no devastation!” Another part of me is thinking “Does this mean Texas will get some rain? Please?” Both of these scenarios could be met if it stays a tropical storm and doesn’t get too feisty. We sure could use some water blown our way.

And in closing, I’d like to announce Austin City Hall has been declared a certified wildlife habitat. I laughed every time I heard that today. I’m sure there’s a joke in that statement waiting to be said, and I know it involves monkeys in business suits^†††. I’m too tired to be witty today, so write your own joke. It shouldn’t be too difficult. :P

It is so past time for bed. I have a million things to do tomorrow.

1. † I am feeling the need to point out the correct pronunciation of “pecan” is puh-con. I will resist the urge to rant at this moment. [↩]
2. †† Not that I think other news forms haven’t sold out to some demon years ago. I do. They did. News and journalism in this country sucks, no matter the format. [↩]
3. ††† While I don’t especially think much of some of our local politicians, Austin City Hall is a wonderful building with beautiful grounds. They at least did a good thing in building it, even though it was sort of like spending money on themselves. Exactly how often do I get down to City Hall to enjoy it? Never, which is actually a good thing. The less bureaucracy in my life, the better. [↩]