If Lin were sitting here writing this post, he’d tell you the moment those words come out of my mouth, preceded by or accompanied with uncontrollable giggles and hand waving, it usually means I’ve been riding a train of thought, and it came to a silly end. Actually, the resultant end is usually a somewhat sane thought and not really worth busting a gut laughing about. It’s the journey my brain took getting there that amuses me to the point of breathlessness. I am easily amused … obviously.

I was being forced to watch an engineering program about the Apache helicopter for about the hundredth time, so my mind wandered. I will now try to recreate the thought process necessary for me to move from thinking about what an awesome and scary piece of machinery the Apache helicopter is to the statement “I need a yoga tent.”

Oh, and I am not proofreading this monster, at least not until tomorrow.

–beginning of train-of-thought–

Hmmm. The colors they chose for the graphics to represent the Apaches on the assembly line are the exact same two colors I used on my first ever two-color silkscreen print: cadmium yellow light and phthalo blue. I used them straight out of the can, because my lazy butt could not be bothered to mix colors. I’d have only screwed it up anyway, either making too much or too little. One ends with me having a color laying around I may never want to use again, and silkscreen ink does not grow on trees. The other ends with a shortened print run, which, when you are only doing runs of six makes the print run a fail and if you are only using one screen for all your color layers, will require a complete redo, which is sometimes impossible to accomplish. So generally, I couldn’t be bothered with mixing colors. Much more economical to stick to using the stuff straight out of the can.

My first two-color silkscreen print was entitled raging Buddha. Cadmium yellow light and phthalo blue … colors remarkably similar to the school colors of the college I was attending, and also the school colors of my high school’s mortal enemy, Tivy High. To be completely honest, I have always hated those colors when used together, yet somehow, my laziness was so great, I could not be bothered to mix any colors together. Yellow background. Blue graphic-style Buddha face.

Why the hell didn’t I use black? Oh yeah, because the instructions for the class project said to use two colors, and in my mind, black is not a color. Technically speaking, it isn’t, but in the world of pigments, it most certainly is a color. I really should have used black. Ah, the stupidity of literal thinking and youth.

Where was I? Oh yes, my prints from college. I should sell my prints from college. I don’t have many of them left, and some of them are actually quite good for such early works. I am finally able look at them with a critical eye, because I only pull them out and gaze upon them about once every seven years. They don’t entirely suck.

–tangent–

Raging Buddha has a nice graphical poster quality to it. I would barely call it proper art, because I can guarantee you there was no feeling or thought put into it’s creation. I came to it very methodically and very precisely, and my only real concern was with the process. I do enjoy getting lost in the process.

Vampire Eye, a four color print, is also very crisp and graphical, also done in pure out of the can inks, and while there was a little thought put into the art aspect as opposed to the process aspect of its creation, it is still dreck. I don’t know what possessed me. It’s hideous.

I can’t remember the name of the other one I have in my portfolio. It’s in German. Had something to do with hands, hearts, and hard work … or something like that. If it weren’t impossible to get to quickly and quietly, I’d go dig it out now, because not remembering the name is going to bother me until I do. Anyway, I believe it’s an 8 color print. By the time I pulled that series, I wasn’t thinking about the process anymore. In fact, what I was thinking was something along the lines of “Oh crap! I have to have that color print done by 5 pm today if I want to enter it in the student art show, and it’s going to take all day to run that many colors … and I have no idea what I am going to do!” Yes, my thought process was very much alone those lines. It was, for the record, still damply cool when I dropped it off at the entry room. Also for the record, it’s an excellent print. It was the first time I played with the materials and just did whatever popped into my head. One of the series is matted and framed and hanging in my parent’s house. In the living room even. It looks like art. Beneath the panic of having to have a big assignment in on time, there was actually some channeling of creative thought apparently. Why … I even mixed inks together to create new colors.

–return to topic–

Yeah, I should try selling those prints. Never know! Someone might pay some cash money for them! Stranger things have happened!

–beginning of major derail–

It’s weird, I wasn’t at all into Buddha when I did that Raging Buddha print. I don’t even think I knew anything much about Buddha except that he was some fat dude that lived in the East, meditated, and everyone liked him.

The train of thought rolls into the station, giggling ensues, and my thoughts require vocalization for surely my heart and brain will both burst if I don’t say it out loud right now.

“I was thinking…”

“Yeeessss?” [mutes television and sighs]

“Wouldn’t it be cool if I could do yoga in the morning in the back yard with my plants, just after you leave when the sun is coming up? That would be so cool. But the neighbors would think I was some kind of weirdo if I was out doing yoga in the back yard at sunrise surrounded by vegetable plants in containers.” [imagines doing yoga in the back yard at sunrise surrounded by vegetable plants in containers, smiles, then thinks of neighbors peering through blinds and gossiping and becomes self-conscious — breaks into uncontrollable laughter]

[silent stare]

I know! I need a yoga tent! You know, a pagoda-like tent with some semi-opaque curtains on all sides.” [imagines doing yoga in a tent in the backyard and realizes the neighbors would then be peering through blinds and gossiping about the tent and “What the hell is she doing in there?” — more uncontrollable laughter]

[silent stare]

“I guess a yoga tent would cause just as much of a stir. Still, it would be cool to do yoga in the back yard surrounded by my vegetable plants.”

“I’ll make sure you can do that.” [un-mutes television]

–end of train-of-thought–

Phew! That’s a lot of mental babbling!

–other random thoughts and tangents appearing before, during, and after all this other internal babbling–

I shouldn’t care what the neighbors think. They probably think I am a weirdo anyway.

I wonder how I should price those prints.

I have learned the importance of holding yoga positions for longer then a few seconds. The fast stuff is cool, but there’s much to be said about holding a position for a significant amount of time. It allows me to focus on every bone, muscle, joint, and nerve in my body, which allows me to disconnect and clear my mind of all thought.

Man … I love doing yoga.

My neighbors are all weirdos. What the hell am I worried about? Oh yeah, the Annoying Boy audience I might attract.

Have I ever seen Annoying Boy awake at sunrise? I don’t think so.

Did Lin just say he would make sure I could do yoga in the back yard at sunrise surrounded by my plants? Was he serious? Was he being facetious? Well, he did tell me I needed to make a Honey-Do list, something I have never, ever done. Just doesn’t seem right to tell him what to do on his days off. He works hard.

I wonder if that tomato has ripened any more since Lin got home from work?

We need some pallets for a floor for my yoga-slash garden deck.

How can ants be easily killed without using crazy-insane chemicals?

I have to remember to get a can of Coca-Cola from somewhere. Lin came home with clothing covered in flecks of creosote, and I’ve heard putting a can of Coca-Cola in the washing machine with the water and detergent will get it out.

As soon as I write a post about prints and yoga tents, I’m going to go look at that tomato.

Doing yoga outside would be so incredibly cool.