Sunday night, while I was not sleeping due to the pain in my mouth and the stress of having to go to a dentist, I discovered Dental Fear Central. I spent most of the night reading it all and going through the forums discovering I am not the only one so terrified of dentists and dental work. I completely credit that site and all those other people’s stories for my being able to so calmly call the dentist the next morning and actually making it into the office. I didn’t feel like I was alone in the way I felt, and sometimes that means everything. As I sat there Monday waiting to hear what was next for me and my teeth (and trying not to freak out), I reminded myself of all the people who had posted on those forums … how scared they had been, how embarrassed they had been, and how they had pushed through it and things got so much better. Those stories really were my rock that day.

I wanted to point it out, because apparently there are a lot of people like myself who put things off too long out of fear and embarassment, and maybe one of them will run across the link and find it as useful and consoling as I did.

I plan to join the forums and join the conversations. While I am feeling so very positive about the upcoming surgery, because my rational brain knows that once it’s over my quality of life is going to improve so much, I am, of course, still freaking out about it all. It’d be nice to have a support group of people just like myself to just talk with about all the fears and thoughts racing through my less rational brain, and I also want to thank them all for giving me just the boost of courage I needed to get this ball rolling.

I also want to thank my friends, family, and blog readers who have been listening to me whine and cry for about a week now. Everyone has been so supportive and understanding. I feel a little silly now for not having admitted to any of you years ago my crushing fear of dental work. I had it in my head everyone would think it was stupid for someone who otherwise seems to be intelligent and at least somewhat “with it” to be afraid of something as mundane as dentistry. But no one has thought it was stupid. All of you have been just fabulous, and that really gives me courage and strength as well. So thank you.

There is sure to be more whining and crying for some weeks yet. We’ll all just have to get through this together, I guess. I swear, I am not going to try to bore you to tears with it all. I am going to try to be as open and free with my thoughts and feelings on what’s going on, not so much to ease my own nerves, but because maybe someone else will run across what I am posting and discover they aren’t alone either. It’s awful to feel scared, alone. I might still feel scared, but I don’t feel alone anymore. That feels pretty damn good.

Just wish my teeth were feeling pretty damn good. My plan to only take one Tylenol-3 a day in the evenings has not worked out so well today. After I got done with the shopping and some of the housework, my mouth felt like it was on fire. The ibuprofen wasn’t cutting it at all, so I took a pill, laid down on the bed, and then I got a lot of really restful sleep. Sleep is good.