Just posted this at Metafilter, so of course, I have to share it here too.

“What the autistic 12-year-old can’t express verbally or in social interaction he can show through his carefully cut out geometric shapes assembled into characters in a paper collage.”

Where did that tomato come from? I stick my nose on those plants every day, sometimes more than once a day, and I would swear there was no tomato on that plant yesterday. What a pleasant surprise to start my dreary and potentially rainy day!

I think this is the Super 100 Cherry Tomato. I say I think that’s what it is, because I don’t know which is which anymore. When I re-potted them, I put the little plastic tabs back into the pots, and sometime between Sunday and yesterday, every last one of them has gone missing. I doubt it can be blamed on critters, because they might knock them out of the pots, but they don’t usually run off with them. I suspect a two-legged critter by the name of Annoying Boy. I’ll have to compare the unlabeled pots with the labeled ones and try to figure out which is which, I guess.

I guess adding the composted manure on Sunday, and the last few days of coffee grounds and leftover coffee have done that plant some good. I have been particularly focusing on that one, because it looked really bad on Sunday with yellow leaves that were starting to curl up and fall off, and generally just bad color to the whole plant. I thought it was on the way to an early death. This morning, it’s green and perky … and it has a tomato on it!

The photo makes it look huge. I assure you, it isn’t. Right now my precious first tomato is about the size of a dime. It better not fall off or get eaten. I would be so heartbroken. I can’t wait to eat my own tomatoes.

There are also three peppers that have set on the Banana Pepper plant. Woo hoo! I am so excited!

Also, I am somewhat pleased with the above photo, so I uploaded a larger version so you can see the detail. Considering how dark and windy it is outside, and the fact I can’t use a flash when using the macro settings, I was surprised by how well it turned out … and how you can see the dew on the little hairs. I love my camera.

I have to take my tomato happy self to Walgreens, and then I have to attempt to restore the kitchen to some kind of order. I have totally ignored the dishes for far too long, as I almost always do.

But I have a tomato and some peppers! On top of the ice dispenser on the fridge being repaired yesterday, this week is going pretty damn well so far. Just wish I felt better, but I guess I can’t have everything my way.

I’m having continuing stress-like feelings about one of my friends. It’s that feeling which informs me I am having inner conversations about whether or not I want this person in my life. That’s a harsh thing to be considering, but there you have it. I’m not angry. I’m not even upset. I guess I’m just disappointed. That happens in interpersonal relationships.

While I believe that even the best among us are capable of doing and saying and thinking stupid, evil things, I believe in forgiveness. I have forgiven people for things that … well … many other people wouldn’t, and I meant it. That doesn’t mean I don’t reserve the right to be angry or upset. I do. I am fully capable of knowing why someone did what they did and understanding their rationale for it. I can forgive them for doing it. They did the best they could in the situation, for their own reasons, and they failed to live up to my (or society’s) standards and expectations. We all fail at things … do the wrong thing … at least a few times in life.

Now for the parable:

When I drove a ratty old car, banged up and barely chugging along, large trucks that took up two parking spaces used to make the blood vessels in my temples pop. Selfish bastards! Assholes! Even though it made me angry, because I needed a parking space too, I was capable of understanding a few important points from their view: parking spaces are made way the hell too small in order to cram more cars in, large trucks are not easy to maneuver in a cramped parking lot, and many people in ratty old cars don’t take care not to leave dings and scratches on other people’s car doors (which they can’t really help too much, owing to the smallness of the parking lots). It still made me angry, and I still thought it was an asshole-like thing to do, but I forgave them. After all, I was generally driving rather large ratty old cars, and they are no joy in the parking lot department either.

Then I started driving a new and large truck, and I personally got to see the other side of the story. My hypothesis about the reasons that so many large trucks take up two parking spaces was correct. Not all people who take up two parking spaces are selfish assholes. I feel fairly certain I am not a selfish asshole, and yet, even I occasionally park the truck like crap, and I leave it like that. I did it today. I am certain it pissed someone off. I’m sorry. My reasons for leaving my truck parked like crap? The only parking spot available where there where two together, which is almost required in some parts of the lot in order to even get the truck into a spot (due to those tight parking spaces), is located in such a way that it requires me to turn sharper than my vehicle is able and no amount of point turning is going to make a difference. The truck just can’t get fully into either open space.

I gave it a try, and there was nowhere else to park where the truck would fit. I didn’t really want to waste a bunch of gas driving in circles or going home and coming back, and I didn’t want to walk a block with all my groceries. So … I got out and went and did my shopping. I felt bad about the fact that second space was going to be unusable by any type of automobile, but what to do? I have a life I am trying to get through too.

When I came out, the store had emptied dramatically. I must have arrived right at the end of the morning rush. The parking lot was growing bare, and there, all by itself, sat my truck … obviously parked like crap. It looked stupid sitting there badly parked, without all the other cars that had been around earlier making the proper parking impossible. I feel certain someone driving through that parking lot at that time called me an ass, or made a comment about people who drive large trucks. I might have.

I forgive them for hating me, as they haven’t had to park the thing in a cramped and crowded parking lot that barely accommodates large vehicles. After they walk a mile in my shoes, we can talk about it again. Though I do believe I have to amend my original theories as to why people who drive large trucks sometimes park like crap. It had absolutely nothing at all to do with keeping people from dinging my truck, and I suspect that might be the case for a lot of the others as well. This does not, of course, apply to people who consciously and willfully take up two entire parking spaces, as though they didn’t even TRY to park correctly, repeatedly and all the time. Those people are assholes.

Which brings me to my next point:

My forgiveness is not endless and bottomless. I am not perfect. If I were capable of forgiving everyone for everything, I’d be walking on water right about now … just for the fun of it. When a behavior that I feel is “bad” is repeated over, and over, and over with no growth, change or improvement, my patience and forgiveness runs out. I’ll still eventually forgive the person, but I won’t necessarily have that person in my life anymore. No animosity or anger are involved in that decision. That’s just the way it is. That person is doing/saying/thinking something that doesn’t sit well with me, and I may understand why, but I don’t have to keep being exposed to it and being made upset by it.

Go forth and be happy, but please be happy somewhere else. Or be unhappy. Your choice.

I have so much going on in my head these days. There’s more I’d like to say about this, but it’s getting so late. The situation is on-going, so it is bound to come up again soon. Eventually, I will have to decide whether or not I am seeing a pattern of behavior I can’t move past. Have my friend and I really grown so far apart? I hate that feeling. It always brings up additional questions, like … were they always like that and I never noticed before? I hate that feeling too.

This is probably a strange and rambling post, but I’m too tired to be bothered to proofread it. Forgive me?