I did an hour in the Box Room today. Hadn’t really planned to, but Lin is watching a bunch of boring stuff on TV, and I didn’t have anything better to do. Our 60 gallon trash bin is now full. I guess I will be buying some extra bag stickers this week after all.

The best find today was my tarot cards. In fact, that was the only find today. Found a lot more stuff I determined was flat out trash than not. There’s really starting to big a large area of open floor in there now, and it’s very exciting! I may go poke around in there some more, just because I am bored and seem to be making such progress. I’d like to chop up some more of the empty box collection we have, but it’s best I do that when Lin isn’t around. He appears to be very attached to the idea of having lots of empty boxes around. Why, I don’t know. Does he think we are going to be moving again any time soon? I think not, and if we did, I’m sure we could get new boxes. It isn’t like they have stopped making boxes, and I’m tired of having an attic full of kindling.

The Box Room project is going very well. Better than expected really. It’s giving me such a positive mental outlook on things … like I can do something that seems overwhelming all by myself, even when I don’t think I can. I wish now I had started on it earlier, like when we first moved into the house. But maybe I needed all this time to totally disconnect from this junk, and it all just had to wait until I was ready to face it and finally get rid of it. I seem to be ready to do that now.

I need to go do the dishes before I spend anymore time poking around in dusty boxes. Technically, it’s time for me to start thinking about making dinner. Not sure what I am going to make yet, but it will involve round steak. I am seriously overstocked on round steak right now.

I haven’t seen a mantis out in the wild for so long I can’t remember the last time. But … today … right there on my banana pepper plant is a baby mantis! Hope he sticks around and eats all those nasty bugs that have been chewing on that plant when I am not looking.

He’s soooo tiny! Maybe 1/4 inch long. Here’s hoping he grows and grows and grows!

I fell asleep on the couch as soon as I finished my two pieces of pizza. Lin was reading, so I was waiting for him to be ready to start watching the usual TV shows. I stretched out, Myu curled up beside me and started sucking on the blanket and purring loudly. The last thing I remember is thinking how very, very relaxed I felt, and would Lin hurry up and get to the end of the chapter so we can watch Dr. Who.

Lin woke me up a while ago and we watched Dr. Who and Battlestar Galactica. Well, I watched them both. Lin fell asleep half-way through Galactica. The Doctor’s new traveling companion continues to grate on my nerves. I didn’t like Rose at first either, and I grew to like the character. I guess there’s hope for this one, but really … she grates on my nerves for some reason. Galactica continues to make me wish it was a book so I could read the last page, find out the ending, and then give the book to charity, never to be read by me again. It feels tedious, endless, and I am getting so, so bored with it.

Lin’s asleep, and I guess I should be too, but I got about 5 hours of deep sleep on the couch, and that’s more than I get in an average night. Therefore, I am wide awake. I still feel really tired, but my mind, of course, is zooming along at a million thoughts a second. I sat down to write about one of them, but by the time I got settled in at the computer, I’d already had fifteen other thoughts, just as interesting as the other, so I had to sit and think about them, which led to more thinking and more strange random and deep thoughts.

Here’s a random and deep thought for you. Maybe it was the one I sat down to write about, maybe it’s not. I certainly don’t know at this point.

I am feeling rather blue about having to throw out my high school yearbooks. I know there are going to be other things in that room that have been broken or otherwise destroyed, things that will upset me to have to part with, but then, if they were so extremely important to me that I carried them around in boxes for years, telling myself they were too important to me to get rid of, why didn’t I take better care of them? It wasn’t ignorance, I assure you. I know how to properly store things. I just simply didn’t take care of my things, even things I thought of as being oh-so-very important to me.

I have a theory. For the last decade, I have begun to become less and less attached to things. I see how really unimportant most of them are. The truly worthwhile things, the truly important things, are those things I carry with me all the time: my knowledge, my experiences, my memories, my abilities, myself … and the people I know and their sum total of these things. I suspect this isn’t really a new development for me. I suspect I have felt that way all along about possessions, memorabilia and such, even as a child, but society demands we care about things like yearbooks and photographs and every piece of art or writing you ever created. “You should keep these things always,” it says. “These things are important.” But … they aren’t, are they? I never missed them. I knew I still had them, and I never once felt the need to look at them. So why did I carry those yearbooks through decades of my life? Maybe it was because I was told I should, by parents, friends, society, and not that I actually felt I should. We all do a lot of things only because we think we should. In some cases, this is a good thing. In others, maybe not so much.

Maybe I am just trying to tell myself these physical things we carry with us through life aren’t important to make myself feel better about having been a stupid ding-dong and not taken care of them. It’s tough to tell which it is, but I seriously believe I have never really taken care of my things (with a few exceptions — very few), is because I actually find no value in having a bunch of things or things at all. I just didn’t realize it when I was younger. Could that possibly be true? Or am I just a stupid ding-dong who doesn’t take care of her things? Maybe I should post a poll.

Or maybe I should go play a video game and allow my brain to have its inner dialogue without me having to listen to it all. If you think I babble when my fingers are on the keyboard, or when I am actually, physically babbling (something a few of you have experienced), you should hear the stuff that flies around in my head. It just never shuts up!