No monsters to be found in the back yard. No critters either. Nothing but big dark back yard with a strong breeze smelling (and tasting) slightly of vanilla-flavored cigar or pipe tobacco.

In a hilarious turn of events, and by “hilarious” I mean hilarious to the two critters/monsters that live with us, while I was about 1/3 of the way into the really dark back yard, I hear a crash from inside the house. I nearly jumped out of my skin, but it was a familiar crashing sound. It was the sound of the folded up ironing board in the hallway being knocked over by two very inquisitive young cats.

By the time I got into the house, there were no cats to be seen anywhere, but there lay the ironing board all sprawled out in the hallway. Additionally, it appeared to have slid down the Box Room door, and knocked the door open. Great. I closed the door and then verified the existence of both cats in rooms other than the box room. Luckily, the falling ironing board freaked them out, as it always does, and they didn’t think to run into the Box Room when the door opened. Had they gotten in there, we’d have never seen them again. Well, until they got hungry anyway, but by then, they would have destroyed who knows what.

Then I went back into the back yard and finished checking for monsters. Yup, none to be found out there. The only monsters around here are the ones I just had to have because they were so cute. :rolleyes:

For the record, Lin, who is asleep on the couch, didn’t even flinch during the entire ironing-board-crashing-down in the hall just a few feet away. I imagine had there been monsters or other evil-doers in the back yard, I’d have been dead and gone long before he noticed at 6 am tomorrow when his coffee wasn’t ready.

How the hell do you sleep through a metal ironing board falling into a hardwood floor?! How?! So not only am I the protector of the realm, I don’t even have any reliable backup! I need bigger weapons.

I should take a photo of myself in my monster-hunting get-up. Shades of Sarah Conner indeed in my little white wife-beater, lose beige pants, ponytail, barefoot and carrying a six foot long black staff. Snort.