Mom got home from visiting with the relatives today and found herself driving around looking for a place to park close to her own house. First off, the neighbor with whom she shares a double-wide paved driveway had her side and part of my mom’s side torn up to replace some plumbing, and all the dirt, pavement, and whatnot were piled on my mom’s driveway. How very nice. Thanks for the warning. Then, because it’s the holiday season and a Friday, there were a jillion tourists in town, so no parking available on the street either. She drove back and forth down the street until she saw someone pull out of the off-street parking lot for the bookstore next door to her house and slipped in a parked there. They said they didn’t mind at all. Good thing, otherwise, I don’t know where she would have had to park!

She was pretty livid when she called me. I don’t blame her. Pretty crappy to start a major plumbing project that is going to mess with your neighbor’s driveway when they are out of town and you know when exactly they are coming back. Mom asked her why she hadn’t called to let her know what was going on, since that neighbor has all the phone numbers. Had she known, she could have just stayed at the relatives’ houses for another day or two. Well, Helen didn’t call because it would have cost her money. Good grief! What? Fifteen or twenty cents?! None of her family members with cell phones could call just for a minute to let her know? Crappy, crappy neighbor. Always has been.

Then, because it gets even better, Helen wants my mom to split the cost of repaving the driveway. Uh huh. The answer to that is a resounding NO, and if they leave my mom’s side a mess, I will be talking to a lawyer. Additionally, Mom said it looked like they chopped into the thick roots of her very old pine tree while they were digging everything up and making a mess. If that tree dies, there will be hell to pay, let me tell you!

Next she started telling me how it was great with the family for about a day, and then they were crappy too. Well, they always are. I hear this every year, and every year Mom gets mad and doesn’t want to go back the next year. Then, she forgets all about it, and we go through the same damn sad tale again. I’m getting tired of hearing about it, I can’t believe she isn’t tired of living it.

So … Mom had a fairly crappy week that ended with an extraordinarily crappy day. I gave her the only advice I can and ever do: stay mad, confront the people who have made you mad, and don’t let them off the hook because you think you will be alone and lonely. It is far better to be alone than to continue to be around people who treat you like shit. Took me a while to learn that lesson too, but it was one of the more important ones.

I think next year we’ll just kidnap Mom and all go somewhere for Xmas. It would be SO much better than the status quo.