That would be the ass end of the enormous, humongous, hideous and stinky possum that has invaded my living space!!! Look at him! He’s dragging the damn plastic sheeting under the house with his freakish prehensile tail!!!! EEEEEEEEE!!!!!! I think I am going to die!!!! He’s right out there on the other side of either the door or the floor from where I am sitting!!!! :bawl:

I was sitting here working on my usual boring morning post about sandwiches and Fed Ex deliveries, and then I heard the plastic rustling in the laundry room. Well, I had to close the outer door last night! It gets cold in the house if I don’t, and we thought for sure he had toddled on out to grab some grub for the evening anyway! But noooooo … the bastard has been under the house all night long, which is exactly why I was completely incapable of sleeping, even though I haven’t slept since sometime on Sunday. There are few animals living in Texas (and even beyond) that freak me out utterly and totally, but possums just freak me right the hell out. Possums and snakes. I’d rather have a puma in the laundry room. At least they don’t have beady little eyes, and they don’t freaking STINK!

I am so incredibly grossed out, and Lin is being no help at all. Hell, he won’t even confront a cockroach, why ever would I think he’d be up to doing battle with a mammoth-sized possum?! :lol:

I know the nasty creature is making a nest on the other side of the under-house wall right behind the hot water heater. I just know it … and what if it isn’t a HE?!?! Their mating season is coming up in January! My god, what if this freakish living fossil of a critter (unchanged in 50 million years — bizarro marsupials) is the same damn one that invaded the laundry room years ago and shredded the hot water heater blanket?! What if it has been living right under our house forever?!?! WAAAAAHHHH!!!!!

No, really … possums freak me out and gross me out, and I will not have one living here. They are not, in any way, cute. Oh sure, when I opened the door to try and grab a photo, he did his best to LOOK cute, but it just ain’t working. No way. Does that ass look cute to you?!

Here’s my game plan: When the sun comes up, I need to walk the perimeter of the house, outside, to check the under-house access points. I suspect one of them may not be blocked anymore. If they are, they won’t be. I want that sucker to be able to get out some other way, because he is not going to be getting in and out through my laundry room after I block that access point with old cookie sheets and whatever really heavy thing I can find. After I somehow get that hole blocked up, I will then rescue the underwear from the dryer. Of course, it’s been sitting out there all night, so now it will have to be dried again. Dammit. And I am leaving the outer door open all day today. I would much rather be able to run out into the yard to get away than kill myself trying to get back up the steps and into the house through a door that doesn’t open wide enough for quick traffic. Not to mention, the cats are showing too much interest, and I don’t want them coming into contact with the beast. It would tear them up. Ronin is not smart enough to not give chase. I can’t afford the vet fees.

I used my long stick to move the plastic sheeting back away from where the beast wants it. He wants it wadded up under the hot water heater, which, of course, could lead to fire and destruction and death, so I would rather it not be there, thank you very much. I would just remove it from the room, but I am still hoping to get a good photo of this monster, and that plastic sheeting is the only thing he seems interested in. He’ll leave it alone for a while now, since he’s been freaked out by my freaking out, but I know he’ll go for it again in an hour or so. I have got to get a good photo of this home invader.

Shit. I have to go get Lin up. He’s going to be late! Well, he can blame it on the Beast That Would Not Go Away.

I may have to call animal control. I really don’t want this thing around here. I’d much rather the neighborhood cats be able to take refuge from the cold in my laundry room, not some stinky, nasty, ugly old possum!

What? You don’t know about possums?! Well, here’s a good overview of the icky things.