Annoying Boy started ringing my doorbell shortly into my yoga warm-up routine. I heard him blathering to someone, so I didn’t even have to peek out the window to know it was him. I kept breathing, stretching, and relaxing. He kept ringing the damn doorbell …. for the entire five minutes of the warm-up routine. Five minutes of near constant doorbell ringing. Dude, get a clue. If you think someone is home, and they don’t answer their door after the first two times you ring their doorbell they obviously aren’t going to answer the door … like maybe they are too busy doing something else to stop and talk to someone who only wants to nag about lawn mowing, or maybe they just don’t want to talk to you at all.

Then I heard him blathering again to the unknown someone (turned out to be Broom Woman) and was able to determine he was going on about how the pollen from the Dandelions is going to kill him because of his allergies. Dude, get another clue. In order for there to be Dandelion pollen, there would have to be Dandelion flowers. There aren’t any yet. There aren’t even any flower buds yet. Thus … there is no Dandelion pollen coming from my yard. If he wants to gripe about something in the area causing allergy problems, he should get a gander at the level of Oak pollen floating around in the air today, and then he should demand all the Oak trees in the area be chopped down. Like the one in their front yard. We don’t have any Oak trees, but I would be more than willing to loan him our chainsaw, if he wants to get right on chopping down their tree. That Oak pollen is killing me!

Here’s the really stupid thing about griping about allergens in your neighborhood. You could eradicate every single one of them in a ten block radius, and it isn’t going to change the state of your pollen allergy suffering. It’s in the air. The air moves. With the cool front and storms blowing in today, we are probably seeing pollen from several states away. Amazing how the wind and pollen work together that way isn’t it?

Furthermore, did you know you can buy Dandelion seeds? Yup, several of my gardening catalogs offer them for sale. I can’t imagine anyone having to buy Dandelion seeds, because the things just pop up in my yard every year, even when we keep a handle on removing them as soon as they come up, and there aren’t any visible ones in the area. Once again, the wind is to blame, likely aided by birds. Though this does give me a grand idea for what to do with the front flowerbed. I’m thinking a whole garden of Dandelions would be awesome! They have lots of uses. I’ve eaten them and made tea with them, and they are better for you than spinach. Taste better too, in my opinion.

Yes, I think a whole flowerbed of specifically-planted Dandelions is just what we need at Casa de Orb. Maybe I should add some other natural and useful weeds to the mix … like thistles, the leaves and flowers of which are also edible. Though I haven’t eaten any thistle flowers, I hear they are like little artichokes. Sounds tasty! And just to make it look a little more colorful, I could toss out some Texas wildflower seeds as well. One thing is for certain … these plants would grow well in our poor soil. I’ve seen proof of that with my own eyes. Another certainty? It would thoroughly annoy Annoying Boy. For that reason alone, I believe I am going to beg Lin to help me rip out the current batch of weeds in the flower bed, till the dirt, and maybe toss in a bag of fresh loam. Then all I have to do is collect some weed seeds and start planting!

My gods, that is such a delightful and evil plan, I think I may just do it.

Annoying Boy needs to get yet one more clue: If you are that deathly allergic to Dandelions (which, I might add I seriously doubt he is), you probably shouldn’t be reaching down with your bare hands and pulling them up out of my lawn. He broke them off at the surface anyway, which does no good whatsoever. If you leave the tap root, you still have a Dandelion. It’s just going to take it a while to re-sprout leaves.

In closing, I would like to say that in the future, anyone, other than a delivery person bringing me exquisite gifts, who rings my doorbell for five straight minutes gets smacked in the head. That just goes beyond ridiculous. My house is not a mansion. It takes less than 15 seconds to get to the front door from anywhere in the house. I heard the damn obnoxiously loud doorbell the first time. If I haven’t answered, there is a reason. The reason in this particular case is not wanting to go from a relaxing exercise session to a stress-filled session of listening to Annoying Boy gripe about my yard with his whiny, nasally voice, sneering mouth, and leering eyes. Even if I had felt like dealing with him, I wouldn’t have answered the door in my yoga clothes anyway. He doesn’t need to get that good a look at my body. He stares at me enough as it is, and I hate the way he looks at me. Gives me the chills, because there is something not at all right about him. My gut tells me so, and I tend to listen to it on things of this nature, since it so rarely lets me down. That’s the main reason I will never let him in this house and why I don’t answer the door when he’s at the door and Lin isn’t here. I simply don’t trust him at all. He makes me feel unsafe, even when he’s bothering me out in my very public front yard. It’s the look he has on his face when he thinks no one is watching that makes me think he is totally psychopathic. Better safe than sorry, I say.

I think I’ll go do some more yoga. The new routine I did today (Exalted Warrior) was very nice, but some of the poses were a bit too challenging for me, so I had to skip them. I think I’ll put on one of my really easy routines and go relax some more.