Here is a perfect example of Microsoft lunacy:

My mother runs Windows 98 SE. She has since she bought her Gateway computer. Her computer is currently running OK with the install from the CD. Problem is I can’t update Windows at all. I can’t even install DirectX so she can play her games (which all seem to require it). Do you want to know why?

In order to download DirectX, or apparently to get any downloads for any Windows OS from Microsoft, you have to download something called Windows Genuine Advantage, a small executable which determines whether or not your version of Windows is “genuine” or not. While I can assure you that my mother’s copy of Windows 98SE is 100% “genuine” with a “genuine” manual and a “genuine” serial number, acquired from Gateway at the time she purchased her computer, because I insisted she also get a Win98SE CD or we wouldn’t buy the computer (Gateway relented after some pressure). It’s NOT some strange OEM install from who knows what sort of recovery disk, nor is it a pirated copy, unless Gateway is into piracy. Alas, the silly little programs that Microsoft wanted me to run (there are two methods to verify your Windows install) both agree that my mother’s Windows 98 is not, in fact, “genuine” and therefore, she cannot have any updates or downloads from Microsoft.

It was simply the silliest thing I had ever seen. Silly and crazy. They offer no other way to “verify” you deserve to be allowed to download anything, including DirectX. If those little executables say you don’t get to update Windows, because they say you have an illegal copy, you just don’t get to update Windows.

That was the moment for me when I decided that even if we had to buy the Mac Mini for my mom, she was never again going to own anything with the Microsoft label on it. This “verification” of how “genuine” your OS is isn’t going to get better with Windows Vista. In fact, from what I hear, it’s going to be worse about it … meaning Bill Gates might as well be sitting on your desk and saying “yes” or “no” himself. Oh sure, your new Vista system may work perfectly for a month, a year, a few years, but at some point, how do you know something isn’t going to screw up and suddenly, your copy of software, that you paid good money for, may decided FOR ITSELF that it isn’t genuine? You don’t. Windows, all versions, screw up from time to time, and we all know that.

My mom was still unsure about switching to Apple, but my point about having to learn just as much new stuff on a Vista machine as she would on an Apple, sold her. I’m glad it did, because she really didn’t have any choice about it. It’s always better when you give people a chance to agree with your dictatorial edicts though, isn’t it. Almost makes it seem like their idea that way. Fact is, I was not kidding when I told her she was going to be on her own with Vista. I have no desire at all to learn anything at all to do with Vista or any other Microsoft software. I’m not going to be able to fix anything that might go wrong with it. So, it’s Mac or nothing for my mom. I am now more than officially done with the creature Bill Gates created.

It just really pissed me off today that I couldn’t even download DirectX. I mean, you used to be able to download it anywhere, for free, no need to prove anything to anyone. Now you’d think it was made of gold and more precious that Gates’ farts. Oh sure, I probably could have called Microsoft, jumped through some hoops, done a little song and dance, been treated like crap by some phone jockey, and they may (or may not) have helped us solve our problem, but I doubt it. After all, they don’t support Windows 98 anymore, even though there are still a lot of computers out there running it.

Though it will do no good at all, I am going to write up a nasty email explaining exactly what happened any my solution to the situation of deciding not to buy new Vista computer (or any Windows computer of any ilk) and send it to a few choice email addresses at Microsoft. If nothing else, it will make me feel better.

And once my mom is on a Mac, I have the feeling my life will get SO much easier … no more daily hour long tech-fests on the phone. Once I set up her computer for her, she won’t be able to screw it up and it won’t be screwing up on its own. It will be pure heaven, and Microsoft isn’t invited to the party.