It occurred to me while I was sweeping the house that I haven’t posted a photo of my bathroom since we moved in three years ago. There are likely a good number of new readers around here who have no idea why my bathroom makes me want to kill myself.
Behind the cut: photos and explanations.
This is my bathroom. It’s so small, I can’t even take a photo of it and show you more of the horror. This one is taken from across the hall. If I stepped into the bathroom, all you’d see is a few square feet of any one wall, but we’ll get to that in a moment.
The walls are three shades of pink, done with a sponge. The photo does not do justice to how bright and obnoxious these particular shades of pink are. Also, the pink flamingo wallpaper border is significantly more fluorescently colored. You should thank my camera and the poor lighting for saving your dear eyes from the true colors of my bathroom. Trust me on this.
As you can see, in the corner beside the shower stall, there used to be shelves. There were shelves there when we looked at the house, but they ripped them out when they moved. When I say “ripped,” I do mean ripped. They tore the wallboard doing it. (Of course, there was also carpet in the den when we looked at the house and it was gone too, but that’s another gripe for another day.) The paneling is so poorly put in, it makes me weep every time I have to look at it, and there isn’t anything at all I can say about the shower except for AAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH — UGLY!!! It’s mostly broken too, much like everything in the bathroom … and barely large enough for one adult human being. The counters are that wonderful 1960′s splotchy gold fake marble, which goes oh so well with the pink, don’t you think? The design of the counter is such that should anything ever go wrong in the toilet tank, we will have to tear out the counter to get to it. Yes, I cannot remove the cover to the toilet tank. Groovy! The floors, which you can’t see, are checkerboard 12″ ceramic tiles, poorly laid down, barely grouted, not at all level (even to each other) and in shades of white and blue-grey. Just freaking glorious to behold, let me tell you. The toilet, which you also can’t see, thankfully, is also 1960′s original equipment. I don’t want to talk about the toilet. I look forward to the day I get to take a sledgehammer to it.
If you think you see half a window sticking out behind the shower, you do. I don’t want to talk about what sort of moron installs a shower over a window without cutting around it and doing it right. The same sort of moron that rips out simple wooden board shelves when they sell their house, I guess. As you can guess, that window will only be opened in the most dire of situations … or more likely, never.
Everything in the bathroom is old, rusted, stained, broken and ugly. There is not one thing in the bathroom that is salvageable, not even the walls with their 8 or so alternating layers of paint and wallpaper. I seriously hate my bathroom, and I hope now you can see why. Tiny bathroom I could learn to live with after having lived in apartments and dorm rooms my entire adult life. Ugly broken bathroom in shades of pink? Not so much. Had I paid more attention to the bathroom and less attention to the huge kitchen and gorgeous wooden floors in the rest of the house, the bathroom might have been a deal breaker. Alas, I did not, and so I am stuck with the bathroom from hell until we can afford to completely redo it.
I do ask myself from time to time how it is I did not notice the horribleness of the bathroom either of the two times we toured the house. I believe I was wooden floor blind. The wooden floors in the rest of the house ARE quite lovely. :D
And just so you can get a better feel for the pink flamingo-ness of my bathroom, here’s a photo of a wall. Once again, the photo doesn’t even come close to displaying the true nature of the colors involved. Pump them up by ten, and you might be close.
Now you know what I mean when I say “Something has to be done about the bathroom.” It’s just awful, and all the scrubbing in the world isn’t going to make it any better. What it needs is a bulldozer and a very large dumpster. :rollyeyes:
Now that I have gotten that off my chest and hopefully enlightened a few people as to why my bathroom is the most hideous bathroom in the universe, I best go do the vacuuming. I am fast running out of energy, and I at least want to get that done yet. I may decide to ignore the kitchen and just do the dishes after dinner tonight. What I need right now is a nap. What I REALLY need right now is a nap with purring kittens, but I’ll have to get over it since they aren’t here today.
Yes, really starting to miss the kittens. It’s going to be a LONG night.