Tonight’s Dinner

July 24th, 2006 - 12:17 am

Tonight\'s Dinner

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6 Responses to “Tonight’s Dinner”

  1. on 24 Jul 2006 at 12:33 am   Kenno

    Ough, Orbbo! I wish I was closer I’d beg an invite!

  2. on 24 Jul 2006 at 8:43 am   Jocko

    Looks good Orb.

    Hey, here is a joke I guess from a friend of mine who lives outside Houston. It must me some sort of inside TX humor.

    TEXAS:

    Once upon a time in the kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the Archangel found him, resting on the seventh day.

    He inquired of God. “Where have you been?”

    God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, “Look, Michael. Look what I’ve made.”

    Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, “What is it?”

    “It’s a planet,” replied God, “and I’ve put Life on it. I’m going to call it Earth and it’s going to be a great place of balance.”

    “Balance?” Inquired Michael, still confused

    God explained, pointing to different parts of earth. “For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth but cold and harsh while southern Europe is going to be poor but sunny and pleasant. “I have made some lands abundant in water and other lands parched deserts. This one will be extremely hot and while this one will be very cold and covered in ice.”

    The Archangel, impressed by God’s work, then pointed to a land mass and said “What’s that one?”

    “Ah,” said God. “That’S TEXAS — the most glorious place on earth.

    There are beautiful beaches, streams, hills, and forests The people from TEXAS are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent and humorous and they are going to be found traveling the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking and high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace.”

    Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, “What about balance, God? You said there would be balance!”

    God replied wisely, “Wait until you see the idiots I put at A & M in AUSTIN.”

  3. on 24 Jul 2006 at 2:07 pm   tasha

    “they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace.” heh. I know of one Texan who’s a fine example of that! :roll:

  4. on 25 Jul 2006 at 9:10 am   Orb

    OK, it’s either A&M in College Station or UT in Austin. Seeing as I am not a UT fan, let’s just go with UT in Austin.

    OK, there’s a reason I am not a UT fan … a little known fact … I am, in fact, an Aggie.

    Did I just say that out loud?

    Kenno: Finally discovered the missing ingredients for the sausage/potato bake: brussel sprouts and serving it with saurkraut. That recipe is almost set in stone now.

  5. on 25 Jul 2006 at 11:25 pm   Kenno

    Well, since that comment I have been inundated with requests for the definition of this little known condition to which the Orb refers. As a self-styled minor scholar of Orbish, I can confirm that this is not an utterance we hear very often, in fact this may be the first known reference made public on the web.

    Seemingly the term Aggie is as well known in Texas as the word BBQ, however, for us off-landers (as we are called by Texans), the term has almost no meaning whatsoever. While, true, and some of you have written me with this speculation that Aggie is a type of marble or alley, and hence is spherical and so is an orb, that the Aggie that Orb is referring to might also be a marble and hence the semantic connection between the two in the spherical sense. I can fully and completely debunk this myth. Orb is not a marble! Also, though I’ve never seen her in life, I have it on good account that neither is she spherical, at least certainly not in the overall sense.

    No less than Stephan Hawkings has published a note to this end suggesting that the matter could be resolved once and for all, however, as a theorist and because of the distance involved he will not be directly involved in the experiment that he suggests. Namely, if you push Orb over, she will not roll, therefore, she is not spherical, and thus conclusively not a marble. Professor Hawkings’ hypothesis has been challenged in some quarters, by myself included, on the notion that Orb could be pushed over. Hence, the common theory about Orb that she is neither a sphere nor a marble and she is also not a push-over. Most contemporary Orb scholars believe that Professor Hawkings knows this full well, he was just provoking Orb as he likes to do.

    My extensive personal research in to this topic, including use of the world-wide-web and the most powerful Google search engine suggests that the word Aggie refers to Orb having been in residence (or reading, as the British and Kiwis like to say) at Texas A&M University. How the name Aggie got to be used over the more logically apparent names like: Amy, AtoMer, or even AMway, is obliviously lost to antiquity, meaning it doesn’t come up on Google so it doesn’t exist.

    All that is really known about Texas A&M is that it is a “good” school. If I recall correctly, and I almost always do, it was a well endowed university that went on a professorial buying binge in the early ‘80’s capturing some of the best minds in academia buy offering them enormous salaries.

    The other thing that is known about Texas A&M is that it is a place that fashions itself after many esoteric traditions, many of which seem to revolve around a game they call Football, but which bears no resemblance to soccer (what the rest of the world calls football) at all, in fact it looks more akin to rugby, except the players for reasons unknown are dressed up like human tanks with padding and helmets. One can only infer that those playing this game are of delicate constitution and may have names like Nancy.

    The other thing that Texas A&M seems known for is its School of Pyromanical Studies. Again, somehow related to the peculiar padded rugby game, they are known to set large edifices of wood ablaze. Initially thought by some scholars to be for the burning of Christians or witches, depending on who you read, I have discovered the truth to this bizarre practice.

    In the photograph linked here,(http://mcdonnell.org.nz/Orbs gonna kill me.htm ) you can see the gigantic edifice that is to be torched in the background, whilst in the foreground you can clearly see two Texas A&M veterinary students euthanizing a pachyderm. Obviously they mean to cook the beast by way of placing on the pyre. Other folklorists have suggested that not only is this true but it the ontogenesis of the concept that a Texas BBQ is a rather large affair. It is not known how many Aggies it takes to consume a wood-roasted pachyderm.

    Trunk please. 8)

    BTW, Orbbo, thanks for the offer to rotate my video, I deleted them though. Too bad, it would have been a good collaborative project, allowing me to claim multinational status as a film maker. We’ll come up something like that I’m sure for some future effort.

  6. on 27 Jul 2006 at 1:00 am   Catgirl

    Texas A&M stands for Texas Agricultural and Mechanical, so I believe “Aggie” was an affectionate nickname taken from the Agricultural part of the school name.

    Also, we Aggies don’t take kindly (yes, I went there as well) to people who don’t live, breathe and eat American football. Texas loves its football, no matter whether it’s high school, college or pro and it seems a lot of the Aggie traditions were centered around the game of football.

    Gig ‘Em Aggies!