Slept like crap last night, which means I barely slept at all. I kept hitting the snooze button on the alarm this morning, and finally I just admitted to myself that I was not going to get out of bed to make Lin’s coffee, so I turned it off. Still didn’t get much sleep, and so I’m actually going to head back to bed for a while. Actually, I’m going to sleep on the couch. The cat can’t get up on the bed, and if he wants to nap with me, I want him to be able to do that.

Fuzza is still stumbling around and moving slowly, but he’s a little perkier today. I’ve discovered that if I pick him up and set him in front of his food bowl, he’ll eat a few bites of food every time if I stand there and watch. I just keep thinking if I could get him to eat more, he’d get better. I am probably fooling myself, but at least he’s eating a little more. That can’t be a bad thing no matter what. I’m going to wait until Monday to call the vet, and I am going to spoil him all weekend. Hopefully by Monday I’ll be in a better mental place about all this and can have a coherent conversation with the vet without breaking down into sobbing tears. Not that I think the vet would mind me crying, I’m sure she sees that from time to time and she’s such a great person too, but it makes it hard to communicate when you are crying … and she and I really need to have a long talk about what to do. I don’t know what to do, and so I am just going to turn to her for guidance.

I should do the dishes, take out the trash and vacuum, but screw it all. I’m depressed, and I feel like wallowing in it today. I have a social event to go to tomorrow night, so I better get all my wallowing done today. I really don’t want to go out tomorrow, but I already said I would, and I hate to be a flake and cancel things at last minute. Now all I have to do is find some clothes that don’t look two sizes two big for me and figure out how to pretend to be having a good time even when my mind is on far weightier things than a Vallejo show. Bah humbug.

At least it’s Friday, and I get to order delivery pizza for dinner tonight. I’m already looking forward to it. But first … more sleep. I can barely keep my eyes open.