Sitting here with my mouse cursor hovering over the “submit order” button at Amazon.

I have carefully selected six tubes of paint … large tubes of cadmium red hue, cadmium yellow medium hue, cobalt blue, and titanium white …small tubes of burnt umber and ivory black. Those are the only colors you need, and you don’t even need the black if you have burnt umber. I just wanted to use up the whole gift certificate, so why not go ahead and get some black. You never know, I might use it. As a general rule, you should never use straight titanium white or straight black of any sort in a painting. They aren’t natural colors. Unless you are some sort of modern artist and that’s what you are going for. I will say that as soon as I see straight white or black (or any tube color) on a canvas, I do tend to cringe, but that’s my one personal problem I suppose. Blame it on my art teachers.

I also have selected a cheap brush set. Cheap brushes because I will never deserve nice expensive brushes. I don’t care for them. I don’t care about them. I often don’t even use them. I am very hard on them. It makes no sense for me to spend much on brushes. I know I have heard all the arguments about buying the best brushes and really taking care of them, but … I see brushes as an expendable resource just like pencils and charcoal and paint. If one of my brushes survives one canvas, I consider it a damn fine brush. I have had expensive brushes, and I destroyed them in an afternoon of painting. At least the cheap ones last a few weeks.

Yes, I am one of those painters who either has to pick brush hairs out of their work before it dries or ignore them. I usually ignore them. They add texture.

Anyway, I am about to hit the “submit order” button, and of course the child inside me is crying. She really wants a new toy or some new fun books or maybe even a CD or movie. Paint and brushes seems like work tools (because they are). The adult inside me is assuring her that we will have some fun with the paint … it won’t all be death penalty art. We’ll get to paint some flowers too.

The only real reason I am agonizing so much about buying paint is if I own it, I will have to use it. It’s sort of like a commitment to doing paintings, otherwise it’s a huge waste of money. It’s also a little scary. I haven’t used paint on canvas for over a decade, and the first thing I want to jump into, the sketch for the art show project that is most telling me to create it further, is a very ambitious work. Quite complex … though that may change. I’d like to simplify it, but it still needs to get the same message across. The devil really is in the details.

The inner adult is now assuring the inner child that the first thing we will paint will be something fun and pretty. We won’t jump straight into life and death subjects.

EEK! I just hit the “submit order” button! The commitment to a return to painting has been made! 8O

Well, now that painful process is over, tomorrow or Saturday I can run over to Hobby Lobby to look at canvases. The major decisions on that are panel vs. stretched and what size. I am leaning towards panels at the moment for the reason that they can be used for collage work and can be cut into shapes. I’m having an idea, you see. I told you it was an ambitious project and quite complex.

I am a little worried that the paint might not arrive until March 13th, which leaves me a week to actually put this thing together, frame it, photograph it, and submit it, but well … when you are working with paint that dries in 20 minutes, you don’t have a lot of time to putz around over it anyway. I’m not entirely sure there will be a painting for entry into that juried show anyway. I have this sculptural idea bouncing around in my head that I am finding very intriguing. I’m probably going to do a prototype of it this weekend in polymer clay, since I have a bunch of that laying around needing to be used for something.

I’ve probably bored you enough now with my inane banter about paint and brushes. Some of you wanted to experience the creative process. Welcome to my world. It’s not really all THAT exciting … except now I am eagerly anticipating 38 oz of paint and 18 brushes to arrive by FedEx, which is a little exciting to me at least. ops:

Thanks again for the birthday present, Catgirl. And … HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!